Why were the Italian chefs mad at the dull bananas?

They were not a-ppealing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hwhouston517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?

Because it's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murkroyal420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I have a joke about a dull pair of scissors ...

But I’m afraid it ain’t gonna cut it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/face-spunk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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So I met a dull pig

He was quite a bore

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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My lumberjack friend was irate because he had such dull tools to chop trees. So he went to his foreman.

He had an ax to grind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Guys this is not a drill!

It’s actually a screwdriver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WestVirginia989
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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My daughter asked me why I don't tell any dad jokes. I said they were too dull...

I only tell edgy jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arrakis_Surfer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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What do you call a dull spear?

A pointless weapon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas_OT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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What happened to the dull knife's application

It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pulsar0516
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Not a Dad, but my Dad made this joke. "What do you call Jack the Ripper with a butter knife?"

A dull evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Ray15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Feeling dull? Learn about Mycelium!

It can turn a stick in the mud into a fun guy or fun gal!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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The Boring Company

What a dull name for a drilling company. Why didn’t Musk partner up with the founder of Microsoft and call it β€šElon-Gates Tunnelsβ€˜?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeGermanGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Long layovers in Washington, DC airports are so Dulles
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smiling_frown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Why should you never use a dull pencil?

It’s pointless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMcBroom81
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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You might find Essex dull, but
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Athlestone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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I don’t get the point of using dull knives
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I told my son the other day to never write with a dull pencil.

There's no point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/og_menace2society
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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People think my daughter's dull coz she loves taking naps...

I think she's in-to-resting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadxxxAdam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Dull pencils are so misunderstood...

Nobody ever gets their point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssassinJ2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I don’t know why people sharpen their dull pencils.

I just don’t see the point in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axxolot
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Honestly, I hate dull knives.

I don’t see their point, and they just don’t cut it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTeoti
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Where do you find the nicest children in the world?

Germany. They're kinder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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I had to cut a bunch of zip ties using a dull pair of scissors

Sadly they weren't cutting it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindboy88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Why did the dull pencil have a mid-life crisis?

Because he had no point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/olivewitharhyme
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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My wife said we had a really dull pair of scissors.

I told her the scissors just weren’t cutting it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/regcrusher
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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I have a hard time listening to people explain how to sharpen knives.

It’s very dull at the beginning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What did the shiny metal say to the dull metal?

What in tarnation?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JG_melon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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This subreddit is just like a dull knife

It doesn't seem to have a point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegod999
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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I wanted to tell you some quality jokes about a dull pair of scissors.

But, none of them make the cut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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Should I tell a dad joke about a blunt pencil?

Though I don't really see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Our city’s main reservoir leaked and now water supply is dependent on a network of bores

Which to be honest I think is a pretty mean way to refer to our city council, however dull they may be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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You should become good friends with whetstones

There's never a dull moment with them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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A dull drill bit...

..is not boring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StingsLikeBitch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
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Did you hear about the constipated Mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/huntershark666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Come on, Son, we have to go to this bathroom.

Son: Why?

Dad: Because is the the men’s room. We go in the men’s room.

Son: Why?

Dad: Because we’re men.

Son: Why?

Dad: That’s correct

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deaconheel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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I had a great joke so I went to sharpen my pencil.................................... but then

I lost the point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldermillenial
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Why couldn't Flipper karate chop a fish in two?

Dull fin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErikMFoss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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I tried to catch some fog once.

I mist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluefoot55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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I need a new pair of scissors

My old one is dull and just isnt cutting it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasM__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Buwanna

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Have you heard that joke about the knife?

I've got to admit, it is a little dull.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LungBubbles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
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Why would you own a broken pencil.

There's just no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jabernathy90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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Disposable Blades

Rachel 2.0 from Blade Runner 2049 was discarded the moment she became too dull

Disposable Blade

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReasonBear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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Someone scuffed the paint of the vehicle that I carry my kids around in

I hate van-dull-ism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bebop0420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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There once was a man.....

There once was a man who had a job driving a passenger train between two large towns. It could be a very dull job to some, but as the old saying goes, one man's trash is another's gold; he wanted to be a railroad man since he was a boy.

He was a wiz behind the controls of the train, and commanded the 15 car vehicle effortlessly as if he had been born to do the job. He prided himself on the fact that he could bend the rules and speed through curves and grades that made other motormen shiver and back off.

One day however, he wasn't so lucky and came round a bend too fast and derailed his train. He backed off the throttle and braked as much as he could, managing to only have one fatality out of 500 passengers on his train.

Months later there was a trial and he was found guilty of manslaughter in the highest degree, a capital offence in that land, and sentenced to die by electric chair. Punishment came swift, unlike most places, and 3 days after sentencing the former railroader was asked for his last meal.

"I'll have a banana," "Just a single banana?" said the perplexed guard. "The warden will grant you a feast and all you want is that?"

"Just a single banana." he said.

After he downed the fruit, he was strapped into the electric chair an hour later.... The warden hit the switch, lights flickered, and the crackle of electricity could be heard for over a minute...

...but our train jockey instead rose from the chair looking more like he got a stiff massage, rather than be put to death! Well in that nation, the law of the land states that if a man somehow survives being put to death, they must be set free...

...And so it came to pass that our engineer was let go...

And for whatever reason, he got his job back!

So he was back railroading again doing the job that he loved. You'd think he'd have been more cautious with this second chance he'd been given, but you'd also be wrong. Speedy Gonzales with a train license decided to gun his locomotive to hard and send it off the tracks again!

Of course, this time he was tried for the same crime, but at a different time (his was a fair commonwealth and double indemnity was simply unheard of!) So fair was their nation, that the jury came up with the same judgement and punishment. So three days later, when asked for his last meal, the engineer simply said "I'll have 2 bananas..."

Not less than 60 minutes after consuming the last morsel was he strapped into the chair and the switch thrown... And....

NOTHING.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onmugen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Why Should You Never Write With a Dull Pencil?

It's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordofMostCows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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Why should you not write with a dull pencil?

Because it's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iimzxalinaii23
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2017
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Why shouldn't you write with an unsharpened pencil?

Its pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podolot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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