A lady walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre
I just finished making a short film in Russia about Vin Diesel’s body double.
It’s considered a Vin nyet.
Double Pun double the fun
I don’t trust double blind studies
It’s literally the blind leading the blind.
I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
My 7 year old proudly said dad I double knotted my shoe.
I said, "You did not."
She glares at me, "Yes I did."
Me, "You did knot."
She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.
Why did the road double-cross the chicken?
Because the chicken was on its wrong side.
Just had double knee surgery in Japan
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
An English professor was telling his class that a double negative makes a positive, but there was no case in which a double positive creates a negative.
From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."
Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer
As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.
I’m trying to stop making double ententres
But my god, it’s so hard!
What do you call a pixie who double-majored in physics and genealogy?
All the jokes I think of end with a double preposition
I can just never think of anything else to finish them off with
I've got a double joke for you
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To see the idiot.
...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why was the double barreled shotgun unable to speak when it was upset?
why are double amputations so expensive?
they cost an arm and a leg
My name is bond, double.....
What's an easy way to double your money?
Hold it in front of a mirror
In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry...
Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.
My wife found out last night that I had swapped our double bed for a 14 foot round trampoline...
First she hit the roof, then the light, then the roof again.
Darlings you got to let me know. Should I shave or should I grow? If I shave there could be stubble, and if I grow it could be double. So c’mon and let me know ohhhh..
What do pirates on the Double-Dutchman call their Cap'n?
What do you call an old German currency that can double as a page finder?
Son: Dad, if u had double the money, double the time and double the energy, then what would u be?
Double tap on your screen.
What do you call a double decker airplane that bounces on the runway while it lands?
Double the punnery in Scotland.
Too bad OJ didn’t play for Denver. Could have been a double whammy here.
What you get when you play the song "walk with me in hell" at double speed?
My wife had to double check she wasn't pregnant.
We were sitting on a little bench, watching birds going crazy over some bread that had been left on the ground. "I wonder who gave the little birds those rolls", she said.
"Probably the casting director."
Double tap on your screen
Girl walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.
The bartender gives it to her.
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