A list of puns related to "Dog Bites"
My fault for getting one that’s pure bread.
Don’t try to pet him, leave well enough alone.
I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.
...impooched.
Good thing he doesn’t eat it, that would be time consuming
I told him my dog doesn't even have a bike.
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you can’t do that. That dog’ll bite you.
You muzzle 'em
A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, while a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
(From Abbott and Costello’s radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen — in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother — Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, I’m not talking about that. What is the dog’s breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, …
Lou Costello: That’s it, Abbott! He’s a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editor’s note: we now call an “icebox” a “refrigerator”)
We had just finished barbecuing, and my sister accidentally dropped her hot dog on the floor. My parent's dog instantly pounced on it and scarfed it down in one bite.
My grandpa then turned to me with the biggest shit-eating grin:
"It's a dog-eat-dog world."
After speaking with a clerk and securing a room, he turns to go upstairs when he spots a dog lying on the ground
“Does your dog bite?” Clouseau asks the clerk.
“No,” he replies.
Clouseau bends to pet the dog, but the dog snaps and bites his hand. Clouseau is shocked.
“I thought you said your dog did not bite!”
“That is not my dog,” says the clerk.
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit ➡I had just cooked a hot dog.The moment i take a bite out of it my dad runs at full speed yelling "ha ha you ate a wiener".
What is a Vampire favorite fruit?
What kind of dogs do Vampires like best?
How does a ghost cry?
What does a skeleton always say before he eats?
What kind of key should you always take to a haunted house?
Why do Vampires need mouthwash?
What kinds of street do Zombies like?
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
What did the black cat call the mouse on roller skates?
What does a vampire never at a restaurant?
What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?
Why did the witch stand in front of the podium?
What does a ghosts have for dessert?
What is a skeletons favorite instrument?
What kind of dog does a mad scientist have?
Be honest, how many did you get? What is your dad score?
EDIT: can't get spoiler tags to work...
It was half-time and it was time for the mascot, Uga, to get walked out into the center of the field before the band played. Everyone, as always, stood up and was really excited to see the dog help get the crowd pumped up for the second half.
Once the band started playing, the dog got settled down on the Georgia logo and started licking his ass like you've seen countless dogs do before.The man on the other side of my dad nudged him and joked, " Man, I wish I could do that."
My dad looked at him and exclaimed, "Are you kidding?! That dog will bite you!"
A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, and a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
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