Why did the master distiller put an elevator in the warehouse?

To lift his spirits

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📅︎ Apr 12 2021
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What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??

Ginny Hendrix

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📅︎ Jul 07 2020
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Why is Irish whiskey triple distilled?

To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.

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📅︎ Jul 14 2018
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Why do ghosts hang out at bars?

Because they like boos

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👤︎ u/lvrcerosis
📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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Talking to a friend about distillation

and came across this picture of a distillation curve. Told him it's what distillation boils down to.

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👤︎ u/scnottaken
📅︎ Aug 31 2016
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An alchemist tried to distill gold out of urine

He went around collecting urine from taverns all around until he had huge vats of it. He boiled it down to try and get the gold from out of the liquid. When he has it all boiled away, he looks at what he has and realizes it isn't gold, but instead what we now know as phosphorus.

That's why phosphorus is on the periodic table under "P."

A story my dad just told me.

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📅︎ Aug 06 2016
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What did the water cup say after it fell in love with the water filter?

Distill my heart

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👤︎ u/Kerlandays
📅︎ Sep 08 2019
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Chemistry jokes may be old and dead.

But I just can't seem to Barium.

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👤︎ u/Jerrymadd
📅︎ Nov 27 2012
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The grocery store is a dadjoke minefield

Me: Dad, what is distilled water? Like what does that actually mean?

Dad: Well... it's the opposite of da-moving water!

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👤︎ u/chavabt
📅︎ May 04 2014
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