Mr. T dislikes a certain type of bag.

He pities duffel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend dislikes fuzzy leather...

and his opinion cannot be "suede."

...I don't think I actually have a friend who thinks like this

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
🚨︎ report
If you dislike puns about first-aid men getting head, then you can suck medic.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the pepper dislike the fall season?

Because it was just a little chili.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2023
🚨︎ report
why do beginner programmers dislike oceans?

An ocean is just a sea-plus-plus

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2022
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Why does India dislike Hungary?

Because Hungary has a Budapest

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glum-War
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2022
🚨︎ report
I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s clear and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murcalurc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2023
🚨︎ report
I was struggling to understand why I sometimes dislike the color of my house.

Usually it's this very nice dark blue shade around midnight. But yesterday I came home for lunch and I was disgusted by it, so I took some pictures and the difference was night and day.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jodobrowo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2022
🚨︎ report
Why was the donkey philosopher so disliked?

Because he was a wise ass

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2022
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I dislike people who are missing toes…

You could say I’m lack-toes-intolerant!

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onearmedphil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2022
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and friends all dislike my Egyptian deity comedy routine....

I Thoth I'd get more of a Ha, Heh, and a maybe even a Kek out of her, but instead she thinks I'm a Nut! I even got all dressed up in my best Khepri shorts to practice on my material with her. I had hoped she'd be more agreeable to them, but she even started bullying me, grabbed my arm and Hatmehit myself a few times, so I told her to stop with that and Imentet! I don't like being treated like some street Mut!

I tried to tell her, "Babi, please stop!" She, however, was having Nun of it! It was starting to Geb me a bruise! Besides, I hadn't even gotten to my Bastet ones yet! So I told myself Heqet all! I'm gonna tell my jokes, because at least they make me Hapi! She didn't care, just told me to Shu! Said I was a Nemty-headed fool. How rude!

Being a Tefnut to crack, I called for the Aten-tion of my friends so they could at least listen to my whole Set, and busted out with this great Amun-gus joke! I certainly thought it was a Neith little joke, but right off the Bat, they were telling me to Wadjet with the dumb puns, and I need to Wadj-wer I'm taking these jokes. One of them even did a literal face-palm and stood up to leave! I told him to stop that, because I don't like to see Menhit themselves, or anyone for that matter, so thankfully, Hesat down again.

I tried Anhur-ther time, but another friend accused me of Nepit-ism! I told him he clearly never Nu what that word meant to begin with, Aani just spits in my face! Ptah! I really Maat him angry, it seems. Nothing but Ra Ra rabble rabble with him....I wanted to wash his mouth out and see how the Sopdu in fixing that bad attitude of his...

After that treatment, I had no choice but to Pakhet in. Bennu really rough day dealing with all this pushback. Neper again will I tell another pun. Isis the error of my ways now and learned a valuable lesson today: Even the closest people in your life will either like the jokes you Hathor they won't. If they don't, you just have to Reshep your comedy routine to the crowd you're playing to, otherwise, you'll upset your girlfriend so badly, you'll end up sleeping in the Shed!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagewithnames
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man that mildly disliked bread?

He wasn’t too sour-dough. I know it’s pretty crumby, but I’m on a roll!!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/In_the_walls7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2022
🚨︎ report
Why do I dislike Rubik's Cubes so much?

Well, I don't know where to begin.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
🚨︎ report
I’m selling my vacuum cleaner

It was just collecting dust

πŸ‘︎ 227
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend said she saw a billboard with a Christian hotline calling her to repent

I told her it must be a sign

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/granolasyrup
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2022
🚨︎ report
I never understood why people dislike vegans so much.

I have never had a beef with them.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Martin Luther King dislike the color purple?

He stood for non violets

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alittletrolly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2022
🚨︎ report
Why'd the little boy dislike the movie about romance on the Iditarod?

He thought it was too mushy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adamant628
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
🚨︎ report
In Chemistry, which anion has an ​​intense dislike of itself?

Sulfate

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PacMook_Bro
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when you glue bread together?

Bread Sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Euphoric_Elixir
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Maximus Decimus Meridius say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, because he's Gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok_Presence36
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2022
🚨︎ report
Disliking superlatives…

is the best opinion you can have

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconShrimpEyes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does Beethoven dislike chickens so much?

Well, when you ask them who their favorite composer is, they all say Bach.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone asks tell them it's 12345678

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfPacific
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2022
🚨︎ report
If Alanis Morissette was a sheep who disliked the fall season...

She'd say "Ewe, ewe, ewe, Autumn? No!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did the flounder dislike the lobster?

The lobster was too shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Maybar_703
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Upon removing his son from his will, the king left the following message:

This kingdom needs some fresh heir.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masselein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2022
🚨︎ report
I dislike toilet paper because

They're tearable

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_crozier
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I really dislike velcro

Its such a ripoff

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t cannibals eat angry Germans?

Because they’re not fond of sour krauts.

(Thought of this while watching Band of Brothers)

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Requient_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2022
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who disliked reflective headgear

You can say he was a matte hatter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickD716
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Computer scientists enjoy watching Al Gore dance.

They just really love Al Gore Rhythms

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2022
🚨︎ report
Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and...

...never a crossword...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Cows dislike Antarctica ?

Because it's always Friesian down there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
People who dislike breadfeeding in public are not haters.

They're just tired of breasts being milked for all its worth.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/latinrprince79
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Samsung and iphones dislike the Reno and Realme phones

Because they are the OPPOsition

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Creative_Mud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I dislike greedy Brits....

....If you give them 2.54 centimeters, they'll take 1.60934 kilometers.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jedi1josh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Three things I really dislike:
  1. Inconsistency

B. People who don't finish things

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I dislike most 70’s female solo artists because they appear vain.

They are a bunch of pre Madonnas.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Butcher arrested for throwing meat at customers

He sure liked to chuck roast

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnaggyWalker
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2022
🚨︎ report
I dislike when posts imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I would never stoop to that level.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2022
🚨︎ report
I don’t like math puns

But I will make one if I half two.

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlanetKi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2022
🚨︎ report
One sloth turned and said to the other, "I used to dislike moss...

...but now I think it's growing on me."

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedd-the-Jedi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Beethoven dislike chickens?

When you ask them who their favorite composer is, they all say "bok."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I think I have worked out why students dislike math teachers

They just keep giving you problems.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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