I disagree with those who say age is just a number

Age is a word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bastelnd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...

"Or, well, Ian..."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I used to disagree with organ transplants...

...but I've had a change of heart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Everyone keeps saying that after the election there's gonna be a civil war. I disagree.

There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotchyCookiez
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My girlfriend and I always disagree whether tea or coffee is superior, she said tea will always be there to comfort you, I said...

Tea leaves

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKiwiBlitz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My fiance didn't think it was funny. I disagree.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevCat14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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People say circumcision doesn't hurt, but i disagree.

i was circumcised when i was born and i couldn't walk for almost a year.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HungryPizzax
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Been told this was insensitive I disagree
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssjallen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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My 13yo has had enough. I disagree.

https://imgur.com/a/b4uxwBM

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harryISbored
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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I've always hated the song "Sweet Dreams"

But who am I to disagree?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThiccLastiGirl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Even though we disagree with each other a lot on Reddit, here’s some thing we can hopefully agree on.

People who are reading this are on the same page.

πŸ‘︎ 488
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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What happens when humans and mangoes disagree ?

Man goes to war

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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As the man of the house, I always have the last word when my wife and I disagree about what to do.

Usually it's something like "yes dear."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StateOfContusion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Who am I to disagree?
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet___christmas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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What do you say when you disagree with Kia?

Nokia

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killiomankili
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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The pilot says that we're 30,000 feet in the air. I disagree.

There's no way there's 15,000 people on board.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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My friend used to say this all the time when someone disagreed with an opinion of his. Not sure if it’s appropriate for this sub, but it still makes me laugh when used today.

β€œWell, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who are, and those who are not, my uncle.”

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Any pearson can disagree to this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shhammu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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My friend told me that you can't tune a fish. I disagree.

They have many scales but they are all over the place

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Overclocked my PC today!

https://imgur.com/a/2RkfNhA

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fyzn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Diss a Gree? I disagree
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nedegame
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I only like two deodorants, Sure and Right Guard

Feel free to disagree, that’s just my two scents.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toby-carvery-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I told my wife my favorite actress is Allison Brie.

She disagreed, she thinks Allison is too cheesy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/and1015girls
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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My girlfriend thought this wasn't funny, but I disagree.

We were going through the Halloween candy picking out what we want to keep and what we are going to donate. She found a little box of nerds and said she was going to keep them for my oldest daughter because she likes nerds. I replied proudly "I'd rather have her like nerds instead of jocks!." I laughed, she groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bugeyetex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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What do you call a disagreeable horse?

A neigh sayer.

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemorianism
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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The models agree that Hurricane Dorian will turn to the north, but they disagree on exactly when...

Heidi Klum says before hitting the Bahamas; Tyra Banks says after.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hew3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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At what time of day do Germans disagree?

Nein! (for this to be effective, say this quite loudly in a German accent.)

My dad loves this one, he always laughs the loudest at his own joke.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmpmpl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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Mom always said "leave bees alone and they won't hurt you." At first, I disagreed.

Now I'm a bee leaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?

I don’t quite sea it that way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Platinumizer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to diss a brie?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Today a man was pushed into a pool by 2 children who disagreed with him.

He's now in stable condition, but is presumed Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixel_juice
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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A husband and wife are walking in the park together.

Suddenly, the wife pointed out that it was snowing. The husband shook his head and exclaimed that it was just raining. After disagreeing for quite some time, they decided to ask their communist friend, Rudolph. He also exclaimed that it was raining. The husband then said to his wife,

β€œSee, Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RosselWestbrook
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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My daughter is a terrible driver but her doctor disagrees...

He said she's got fine motor skills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arnoldmanface
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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I know a lot of people disagree about whether the Mongols had a navy...

But I think we should teach the khan-traversed sea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nofrillsoculus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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Why is it wrong to punch the wall when you’re frustrated?

The wall has never been anything but supportive.

πŸ‘︎ 599
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harrison-harrison
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Trump met the President of China the other day. Trump disagreed with him on some points, and it wasn't always clear who was right.

It was a clear case of "He said, Xi said."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeptimius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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My wife told me that I have a dad bod

I disagree. I clearly have a father figure

πŸ‘︎ 329
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I’ve decided to put an end to color-based segregation in my household...

...however my wife disagrees, and is no longer letting me use the washing machine.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagle4523
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Bird puns in the comments
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Son: You know I'm a self-made person.

Dad: Your mother and I would like to disagree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Anyone need an ark?

I Noah guy.

πŸ‘︎ 349
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Circumcision Puns Aren't Funny

My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.

There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and doctors when the bridge comes to be crossed.

I'm not going to go through and answer all of the questions and insults individually, I have a newborn to take care off, but y'all feel free to hash it out.

Also, I still think my joke was pretty damn funny.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oemus2776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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When Dad and I disagree.

Dad: "You can have your opinion, and I can have my correct opinion."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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Part of me thinks cognitive dissonance can be a useful coping mechanism

... but another part of me disagrees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jawn317
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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People say circumcision doesn’t hurt, but i have to disagree.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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