What did the diabetic say at the bakery?
Heard your dad is a diabetic DJ that drinks cans of sprite during his sets...
The crowds always chanting ‘back one again for the lemonade master’
My diabetic wife asked me why i stopped being nice to her.
" I can't be sweet, you're diabetic "
What language did the ancient diabetic people speak
My diabetic son's insulin delivery kit just came in the mail
(Genuine) My dad has been Diabetic (type 1) since he was 19
When he tells people he always says he's "diabolic" before correcting himself. 15 years at least he's been saying it and it never gets old.
I work in a nursing home. A diabetic schizophrenic I always give sugar free life savers to just said, "You haven't brought me any damn candy all day!" I replied, " I just got here, you need to be patient."
She said,"I am a damn patient!!"
What does a diabetic's blood taste like?
My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back
"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."
Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.
What did Mary Poppins sing to a diabetic child?
“Just a spoonful of medicine makes the sugar go down♪”
What do you call a diabetic who's open to other cultures?
What did the diabetic army man tell the cashier at the donut shop?
I have a diabetic racist uncle who doesn't get on with milk.
He lacks toes and tolerance.
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
Diabetes medication has a profit margin close to 1000%
Now that's just Insul(t)in'
I used to think diabetes was a pain in the butt
But it turns out to be more of a pain the the fingers.
I'm sorry to report that I lost both my feet to diabetes
I went to the diabetes screening
It's just a movie about sugar
In the beginning the god of diabetes said...
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke — What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
NASA scientists say it may be possible to live on Mars.
What a load of rubbish, I tried it and now I'm five stones heavier and diabetic.
I'm not supposed to eat anything too suite.
What does a vampire bite if he wants something sweet?
What do you call a dad with diabetes?
Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?
They know how to break the ice
Sometimes I wonder if
the website of Diabetes Support Groups ask for cookies?
Do you know the worst thing about being an alcoholic with diabetes is?
Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.
I have tight too diabetes
I've been eating a lot of candy and when I put any clothes on I say "these are tight too!"
My wife wanted me to start sweet talking to her everyday
I told her i can't because I'm diabetic
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get Fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Two diabetes
my doctor told me to type that.
What is the sweetest way to die?
When do you know you have diabetes?
When your favorite aunt is Aunt Jemima.
Lady gaga has type 1 diabetes
When asked by my kid's friend what the difference between type 1 and 2 diabetes is, I said, "Type 2 diabetes is developed later in life. Type one is like Lady Gaga."
a reply of blank stare for a moment, then he said, "Lady Gaga is diabetic?"
My reply: "No. for type one diabetes, you are born this way"
My coworker's grandfather is in the hospital with complications from his diabetes. He was told he might lose his leg.
He responded, "But I'm so attached to it!"
Thank you to my friend/coworker and her grandfather for having a sense of humor and not having an issue with me exploiting him for that sweet, sweet karma.
Did you hear about the guy who killed himself cause the doctor had to amputate his toes due to complications with diabetes?
I guess he was also lack toes intolerant.
Life is like a box of chocolates...
It sucks for people with diabetes.
John has 10 cakes. He eats 6 of them. What does he now have?
My Dad literally just came out with this in the car...
I was explaining the interesting L-glucose thing I saw on Reddit t'other day to my diabetic father.
Dad: oh, so it's Spanish glucose then?
He thought it was great.
Edit: TIL I am a neckbeard-Yorkshireman with a Dad who literally bats for 't'other side' - for anyone still in the dark,"t'other" is contraction of "the other" commonly heard in NE England; it is commonly used elsewhere as a lighthearted/bucolic affectation.
Just been to a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies !!!!
Is that a trick question.
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