Detective Constable Puns

I am a Primary School teacher a bit exhausted since the first Lockdown, and I am up for a career change. I saw that you can become a Constable or Detective through a 3 year program that pays you 33k per year right from the start.

Do you like your job? Is it worth? Are there any major ups and downs working for the MET?

Inspired by the excellent fanfic of Mrs_Granger.

Dudley never meant to get involved with magic. It just happened one summer, after he spent a year in hiding from a wizard who's name he never quite learned to pronounce because no one ever said it in his presence. He found his cousin's old books and started reading; he didn't understand some of them but he was converted in spite of himself. He found the magical world infinitely more interesting than either of his parents had lead him to believe.

His cousin vanished unexpectedly one day, and he found himself spending more time with the wizards than he'd ever anticipated, helping to find him. In a way, he was trying to make up for all the horrible things he'd done, it was something he never told anyone, being a man of few words who played dumb most of the time. A part of him was also hoping to find a place for himself in the weird magical world, even though he was a muggle, as everyone kept insisting. Surely his status as the cousin of the so-called boy who lived ought to count for something?

(17, f) I’m currently at that point in life where schools pushes you to pick a career path. I’ve ruled out joining the police force because I know I would be endangering myself and other officers since I am so small. However, I feel as though I have the skill sets, intelligence, empathy and attitude to become a detective. Its also the only thing my friends and family believe I can do. The only thing that’s stopping me from joining the scheme is my height and therefore limited physical strength. Is this going to be a major factor? Will I even be considered or should I choose another career path?

Hi all,

I'm currently writing a crime novel set in a fictionalised version of my Yorkshire hometown, and the main character is a newly promoted female Detective Constable. However, no amount of research is providing evidence of what these officers would wear: would it be similar to a WPC uniform, perhaps with trousers instead of skirt, or is it plain clothes?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks - JP

I know, from reading some of the threads on here, that there is a debate around the direct entry pathways. Some obviously feel a little aggrieved or concerned about the process and it's certainly understandable.

I am, however, also one of those people who is interested in the Detective Constable pathway. In fact, I've been refreshing the careers page on the website religiously for months. Personally, I feel this would be an incredibly fulfilling job with lots of challenges and rewards and I'd be prepared to have all eyes on me and to be disliked for a while, at least until I've found my place.

But it is also a concern for me what kind of standards they are setting for entry. How do they determine if the participants are really tough enough to take the full heat of the job and support the workload which is currently being handled by a dwindling and exhausted number of detectives? Is the 2 year training they provide enough for this?

Additionally, how do the current staff really feel about this pathway? Where does the disliking for these types of recruits come from?

It is obvious that there is an urgent need for more people to find an interest in becoming a detective, but what can be done to make those pathways better?

I think it's really important to get it all feelings out there; the good, the bad and the ugly. Hence, why I'd be grateful to get some feedback (positive & negative) on how people feel about it, any tips are also appreciated!

(fyi not entirely sure if this belong in the recruitment? thread or here - sorry)

I fancy myself a great thief, and a better detective, yet I managed to slip while patrolling next to the slumbering old lady I'd robbed and crash into her table. Seems even the best thieves trip over their own feet sometimes.

Of course, she woke up and soon realized her necklace had gone missing, and -- of course -- reported it to me, the sole constable in our cabin. Yes, I'm the constable-- ever heard of hiding in plain sight? I'm the last suspect in any investigation. Everyone else, though... well, let's just say the game is much easier to play when you already know what's going to happen.

"I swear, I've been sitting here the whole time, never done nothin'," a man named Henry said, stuttering and turning red.

"You say that, but I know I saw you get up."

"That was one time! Just to go to the bathroom real fast, nothing else!"

"Funny how your story's changed, isn't it? Mind if I search your bags?"

His eyes flicked around, and he licked his lips. Poor bastard was hiding something else that I didn't want to find; it'd only make my life more complicated. "I mean, yeah, sure."

I waved a hand. He was to stupid for me to frame, and there's no fun in picking on an idiot. "I'll be back later. For now, stay put."

He nodded frantically, and I returned to the old woman, Mrs. Ruberge. She was a fancy looking lady, real high-class, which is exactly why I'd robbed her and also why she was so insufferable.

"I take the sheepish look on your ugly face to mean you haven't found my necklace?" Her arms were crossed, brows knitted more than the hand-made sweatshirt slapped on her grandson.

"No, ma'am. Seven interviews so far and nothing yet, but I'm working on it."

She flushed, sputtering. "Damned fool, I'm the Queen's cousin! I'll be phoning the authorities once we arrive if you don't have my necklace, and I'll make sure you never work again."

Shit, rich people are crazy. I could end up in serious trouble, here.

"Theres no need for that, ma'am. I'll find the perp, believe you me."

She grumbled, slapping the air in front of her, and I took my leave.

A woman in red caught my eye-- deep, dark burgundy with gold accents, and chocolate hair just past her shoulders. Both contrasted her pale skin sharply, and my breath caught for a moment. A purse matching her dress lay haphazardly on the seat beside her, wide open. Why hadn't I seen her before?

"Hello, ma'am?" I tapped on the wood near her seat.

She started. "Oh, constable, you caught me unaware. How

Hi all, So I passed my assessments and currently waiting for Pre employment checks to come through before an offer is made. I am a career changer so this is a big step for me and I have questions. Brief - I am an accountant and been in the trade now for a 15 years. I have decided that it’s not for me as I don’t enjoy it and that I would like to dedicate my life in service of the people so to speak. I recently became a father too and my next step has to therefore be secure. Questions -

1. Pay - obviously this is going to drop massively but am I correct in understanding that my pay starts at circa 30k (incl London allowances). Increasing by about 1k per year until year 7 where there is a jump. So after 7 years of service, can I realistically be on around 45k?
2. Work flexibility - I have a fair amount of flexibility these days what with the baby. How flexible are the London met police with working around kids. I am aware of shift patterns, but hypothetically speaking, say if my child falls ill and I have to stay at home for the day. Would this be possible?
3. Info on Borough - I understand there is a merger of Boroughs and that CAIT, Sapphire etc are becoming borough based. Where can I get further info on Boroughs? As in office locations, parking etc for commuting.
4. Overtime - I’ve had mixed responses on this. Some people say there is no overtime. Some say there is over time if you want it. Which is true? Can I get overtime in my early (first 6 years) years of work?
5. Pension - i am around 40. What is the retirement age of detectives these days? Can one expect the generous pension even with just 20-25 years service? Assuming Of course the retirement age is 65 in this example?
6. Social life - As a trainee detective/ detective, what is your social life like? Do you indulge in personal extra curricular activities like Football or band or community theatre?
7. Work appearance - this may seem trivial but are beards allowed? Can one wear T-shirts and jeans to work? What is the work attire like?

I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise for the long list of questions. It’s 04:42 in the morn as I post this. This means a lot to me and therefore has been the cause of many a sleepless nights.

Appreciating all your responses.

Best wishes

The diamond necklace in question sat comfortably in my back pocket.

But none of them knew that.

I shot all of them a glare, my fingers rubbing together in the air as if I was trying to summon a solution right in front of them all.

"Constable Winfrey?" a posh voice asked from somewhere in the crowd before me. My eyes met his before the next second was off.

"Sir Bartell?" I asked, holding my tone steady and trying to keep the absolutely splitting grin from spewing out onto my face.

The suited butler nodded, his mustache twitching with each subtle movement of his lips. "Yes. That's me. I was just wondering... do you have anything yet? Mrs. Hughes is quite distraught, and we're all starting to get impatient."

I let my smile drop just a hair while shaking my head. "You mustn't rush such a thing, sir. And I'm sure Mrs. Hughes will be high of spirit as soon as I crack the case."

The nervous butler nodded and a murmur broke out among the anxious mass of barely more than half a dozen. My eyebrow shot up only a moment later as I scanned them again. I had only been on the train since the last stop—I wasn't here for leisure, after all—but still, it seemed odd that there were so few on board.

"But the next stop..." a male voice said, his squeamish voice lilting to my ear on a completely absent breeze.

I glared at the boy; I nearly accused the boy in rags right then. After all, among a crowd of such fancily-dressed patrons, he was the most obvious choice.

"What was that, Ty?" I asked, taking a moment to relish in the shy boy's anxiety.

"The next stop is in less than half an hour," he said, the defiance spawning in his eyes almost pushing me over the edge. As the small boy piped up, I saw the woman in the frilly scarf inch away from him and the journalist take a step forward. Ms. Eiser and Winston, respectively, I remembered.

"Yes..." I said, nodding in fake contemplation. "That is little time, but I have a full grasp of the matter. At this point, I know the story fully, through and through."

All of their eyes glinted with hope. I almost took half a step back. With all the eyes pointed directly at me, any normal thief would've faltered. But I didn't. I was a rock.

There was nothing that inspired more confidence in a crime than knowing you had already gotten away with it.

"Then tell us!" the woman from the back of the crowd yelled. I smiled warmly at her. No matter how fast I went, Mrs. Hughes would never have shut up.

"Alright..." I said, twirling my mu

I’m very interested in becoming a Detective with the Met and have been weighing up joining the force as a police constable or applying for the new pathway if it opens again. I feel like joining this pathway would mean missing out on valuable experience and limit my future career options. Can anyone give any advice as to what would be the best career move?

I'm looking to apply to the MET's DC scheme however I wanted to get some feedback from others before doing so. Any info would be great!

Thanks!

The trainee detective constable salary starts at £22,896 plus £6,711 London allowances, rising to £38,001 plus London allowances.

Is the 38001 inclusive of the London allowances or is an additional 6711 on top of the 38001. I ask because it’s not made explicit and I do not want to guess.

I’m interested to know if the salary bump up happens instantly on transition from trainee when you complete the exams? Does it raise from 22 to 38 after the first year? How does this work?

Thank you in advance.

I am looking for games where you play someone who is a guard or an officer/detective who is trying to protect people on their beat. Maybe they witness something or hear a distant cry for help and they arrive on scene to help. As time goes on maybe they discover a bigger issue and help shut it down.