Did you hear about the clown who lived in the desert?

He had a dry sense of humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?

rick ash-tree

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imboredwithlyf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.

I told him he was in deNile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.

I yelled out, "Oasis!"

Edit: My first ever attempt at a dad joke, and i never thought i would get anywhere this much upvotes. Thank y'all so much!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What is a jeweler's favorite desert?

Carat Cake

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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For my diorama, I tried to make a few desert elevations...

I really made a mesa things though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What is a desert nomad's favorite cheese?

Camelbert!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesaurususaurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Did you hear about the couple getting ready for a day in the desert?

They were dunesday preppers.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanshsu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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How do you hide a horse in the desert?

With camelflage!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_Scrolls
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Certainly," he replied.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do soldiers stay hidden in the desert?

Camelflage

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blisspoint2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Two cowboys are lost in the desert when one sees a tree draped in bacon. He yells β€œit’s a bacon tree” then runs to it and is shot up with bullets

It wasn’t a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What kind of drugs do people in the desert do?

Tumble weed

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert?

I usually toast my sand Witches.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tea4tiffany_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Two vegans were travelling through a desert...

A few weeks into their journey, they ran out of food. Unable to find plants to eat, and after an entire day of discussion, they decided that if they found meat before plants, the would eat it.

A day later, in the distance, they saw a small tree. As they got closer, they saw that there were strips of perfectly cooked bacon hanging from the bare limbs.

The first vegan grew excited. "Look! It's a bacon tree! Food!" And with that, he took off running toward it.

The other vegan hung back, looking at it suspiciously. "No, wait!" he called. "That's not a bacon tree!"

"Sure it is! It's a bacon tree!" the first vegan yelled over his shoulder. When he reached the tree, he jumped, trying to reach the bacon from the lower branches, but before he could, a pair of wild boar darted out from behind the tree and skewered him on their tusks.

The other vegan shook his head. "I tried to tell you it wasn't a bacon tree. It was just a hambush..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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What do you call a joke about a desert

Dry humor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxygenatedair66
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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If I could just bring one thing with me to a remote deserted Island..

..then I probably wouldn't bother going.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are stranded on desert island.

Whilst gathering food, they find a magical golden lamp. The Englishman says β€œrub the lamp!” They do, and a genie appears. β€œI only have three wishes to offer,” he says, β€œso I’ll give you one wish each.

The Englishman says, β€œI’d like to be living in a penthouse in London with Β£1,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The Scotsman says β€œI’d love to live in a renovated Scottish castle with Β£2,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The genie then turns to the Irishman: β€œAnd what do you wish for?” The Irishman says to the genie, β€œIt’s getting a bit lonely here, can I have the other two back?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You won't ever starve In the desert

Because of all the sand-which is there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dilborg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A coconut tree in a deserted island

Is a trope-ical plant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keyrover
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that’s draped in bacon. β€œA bacon tree ! We’re saved!” He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. /r/Jokes/comments/i7puax/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brainstormer77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A starving tribe marched their way to the desert to get food

because of the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoastingNoodles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The Sahara desert walks into a bar.

The barman says "long time no sea."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BookerGinger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
An Irishman was asked what one thing would he take with him to a desert?

He replied, β€˜Me car door. That way, if I get hot, I can just roll me window down.’

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Why did the Doctor desert to Kim Jong-Un’s regime?

He wanted a change of Korea

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mushroomsforlife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What jokes are funniest in the desert?

Dry humor.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Many years ago, all the female Warlocks perished in the desert.

The individual male Warlocks, try as they might, could not master the art of bringing back their counterparts and all seemed lost.

Then, two young Warlocks found that, by working together - one recreating the body while the other recreated the soul - they could bring them back to life from the very sand they died in.

It's crazy but they could finish each other's Sand Witches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techKnowGeek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad went out for cigarettes 8 years ago & finally came back.

He said he was in the desert with his camels.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Constant-Mud-7995
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What is sweet and walks in the desert?

A Caramel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/franzeyyz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The best thing about being on a deserted island with a pair of twins?

Starting fires are easy since each of them will always have a match!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Someone stole my hairpiece

When I find out who took it there's going to be hell toupee!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rett72
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Rick Astley will never give it to you, so be careful.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spelan1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A mouse and an elephant are running together through the desert

The mouse looks behind him and says to the elephant, β€œlook how much dust we’re making!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maianotmia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/death-to-turtles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it you will never starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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