While watching Simone Biles’ floor routine at the Olympics, my wife said, β€œShe’s defying gravity.”

I replied, β€œThat’s Wicked.”

I got an eye roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/S1lv3rsh4d0w9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
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What do you call an old person with really good hearing?

Deaf Defying

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ole_gizzard_neck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.

. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

β€œNobody puts baby in a coroner”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I defy the laws of gravity

I defy the laws of gravity

Looks like I'm going up in the world

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanpearce000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
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What do you call a tree walking on the middle of the road

A pedesTREEan

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I once witnessed a magician make the fog over a lake disappear.

It was mist defying.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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My son ribbed me, "You know dad, even though you're getting up there, your hearing is still really good."

I retorted, "Well son, I guess you could say that I'm just deaf defying!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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What do you call an elderly person with really good hearing?

Deaf defying!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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What do you call an really old person with great hearing?

Deaf defying

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vavz101
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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