Dead Ball Puns

I quit my job today. I know, I know... why the fuck didn't I wait until the squeeze happened.... I know, I'm being irresponsible... I know, I know. Just so everyone knows I was able to contact an old work buddy and have a job already lined up but this post isn't about that. It's about the Diamond Balls I learned to develop by reading r/GME posts.

I was stuck in a dead end job for years and just went to work to get my paycheck. My managers kept taking advantage of my hard work and talking shit behind my back but I just never cared what they thought. I just kept my head down, enjoyed the other people I was working with and kept working hard.

Then I saw a glimmer of hope last year when Covid happened and wanted to take my chances investing. I always heard to invest when a recession hits and so during the March 2020 Plunge I took my chances with some retail company stocks last year in March. I kept putting my paychecks in the stocks and just held, never sold.

I was able to grow my portfolio from $0 --> $50k in one year on a $27k salary. Fucking blew my mind but I'm realizing it was because of the incredible 2020 bull run and luck had a great part in it.

Then Jan. comes and I start hearing about GameStop. It hit its peak at $450 but then started going back down fast. That's when I liquidated two-thirds of my portfolio and bought 175 shares at 100 cost basis.

THEN THE INCREDIBLE HAPPENED

I began waking up from the slumber I have been in for years at my dead end job. I started standing up to the Managers that enjoyed sucking the soul out of their employees for fun. I told them how they are the reason everyone quits and they need to learn to respect their employees more.

LOL .... BOY DID THEY NOT LIKE THAT

For the last two, months I have been a target for everything bad within the organization. They say, I'm the reason the department is doing bad.

THEN TODAY..... I showed up to work and they sent me home without pay because I've been talking back. SOOOO..... I gave it couple of hours. Drove back there and went straight to HR and told them EVERYTHING on how these managers have been abusing employees for years and I'm quitting because of it.

By the time I was done talking, I had HR in tears because of the TRUTH I told them. These managers aren't supposed to send employees home with no pay. Plus I have no bad record and have been outstanding employee for years so whatever I say is GOLD. She felt so bad she paid for the day today. BASICALLY THEY

I've noticed there are an awful lot of no hitters this year and lots of teams with slumping offenses. I like to see a good pitching duel but it gets kinda boring watching guys strike out over and over, game after game. Is it because the MLB is trying to "un-juice" the ball? Seems like there used to be a no hitter once or twice a year, now its once or twice a week.

i feel like in a way i know what i’m getting myself into but at the same time i don’t know what to expect. i’m an artist and i’m working a dead end service industry job that burns me out.

anything else to expect?

Like Michigan when they had fouls to give waiting until UCLA passed the ball in before fouling the ball handler, taking precious seconds off the clock.

Why not just tumble into a UCLA player before the ball is passed in and get a non-flagrant dead ball foul?

Send me some prayers i need it

I noticed during these 4 games, the dodgers seem to have changed their approach at the plate to be more contact line drive focused with way less fly balls. With the new dead ball is this an approach we will see all season? Are barrels truly overrated? We managed just one(I know) homer at coors where last year you woulda expected double digits. Personally I think the dead ball has contributed to this change. Or am I just imagining this?

I used to roll the dice,

feel my dick in my enemy’s ass,

listen as the crowd would sing,

now the old king is dead, lol.

One minute I heeeeeeld my nuts,

next my balls were closed on me,

and I discovered Sans,

upon pillars of salt,

and pillars of salt,

and pillars of salt.

I hear Jackieeee Chan singing,

Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru...

Beat my meat!

MY SoOoOoOoOoOoOS!!!

For some reason I can’t explain,

why we live in a society,

where Gameeeeers,

don’t rule the world...

😭🤚 YES, LORD!!! PREACH IT!!

I can't do however many more years I have left like this

I've noticed there are an awful lot of no hitters this year and lots of teams with slumping offenses. I like to see a good pitching duel but it gets kinda boring watching guys strike out over and over, game after game. Is it because the MLB is trying to "un-juice" the ball? Seems like there used to be a no hitter once or twice a year, now its once or twice a week.