โ!desrever mโI won dna gnorw enog sah gnihtemoS !deneppah tahw wonk tโnod I daDโ
โ.daD mโI ,desreveR iHโ
๐︎ 9k
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︎ Aug 23 2022
When you hear someone shout "You da Dad" โ
โ if there is no DNA proof, then you ain't da Dad.
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︎ Aug 11 2022
I recently saw a big tall rock that was inspired by Leonardo Da Vinci
It was called the Monolitha
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︎ Jul 07 2022
Did you know that they called JFK "John Kennedy" before he was assassinated.
The "F" was added later to pay respects.
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︎ Aug 31 2022
What do you call Batman and Robin after the Joker ran them over with a steam roller?
๐︎ 115
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︎ Sep 07 2022
Why did the woman fall in love with a lumberjack?
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︎ Aug 02 2022
How does Darth Vader like his steak?
Done Done Done
Done Da-Done
Done Da-Done...
With credit to my seven year old, who tells this joke about 30 times a day.
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︎ Aug 14 2022
My four year old has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say please.
I think that's poor for four.
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︎ Aug 29 2022
Whatโs the meaning of IDK?
I asked random people what does IDK stands for, but none of them knewโฆ
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︎ Sep 01 2022
When you need to cast a main enemy bad guy for a movie, it seems like Willem DA FOE should be the obvious choice.
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︎ Apr 07 2022
I joined a dating site for arsonists.
I've been getting a lot of matches.
๐︎ 5k
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︎ Jun 14 2022
Climate change is da foe now
๐︎ 34
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︎ Jan 12 2022
Everybody keeps telling me, that I'm the worst Mailman they've ever seen.
Oops..sorry!
I meant to post this elsewhere..
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︎ Aug 12 2022
I met my would be wife in the middle of a flight when there was a ticket mix up that seated me next to her instead of with my friends.
It ended up being a blessing in da skies.
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︎ Aug 17 2022
Why did the guy with a foot fetish hate winning?
๐︎ 84
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︎ Aug 09 2022
I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza."
Now I'm in some hot water with the Japanese mafia
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︎ Aug 04 2022
New dad here - Need advice from experienced dads in the group
How much no more tears shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?
๐︎ 2k
๐
︎ May 31 2022
Saw a guy walking around the Olympic village holding a nine foot stick. I asked, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
He responded, "No, I'm German. And how did you know my name was Walter?"
๐︎ 3k
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︎ May 23 2022
When Ben Affleck played Batman he was called Batfleck. When Pattinson played Batman he was called Battinson. What would The Rock be called if he played the Batman ?
๐︎ 4k
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︎ Apr 18 2022
I was just introduced to a new vegetable themed female rapper
Her name is
Nicki Spinaj
Iโll see myself out
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︎ Jul 06 2022
Bro, do you want this pamphlet?
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︎ Jun 10 2022
My wife booked us a table at a restaurant called The Manhattan Project.
I asked her if it's a fusion restaurant. She blew up at me.
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︎ Aug 03 2022
What are the chances of a cow standing in a field getting struck by lightning?
๐︎ 1k
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︎ Jun 17 2022
Leonardo da Vinci made up a nickname for the noisy tenant in the apartment next door.
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︎ Mar 25 2022
To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you. You have my Word.
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︎ Jun 21 2022
What fish is the most delusional?
The Fanta fish, because it lives in a fantasy
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︎ Jul 27 2022
what is a cat's favorite type of cheese?
๐︎ 8
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︎ Jul 14 2022
What was left after the cheese factory exploded?
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︎ Aug 05 2022
What do you get Devin Hester for Christmas?
Nothing because he would just return it.
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︎ Jul 31 2022
What happens once in a minute, twice in a week and once in a year?
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︎ Jul 01 2022
We have great deals on soda here!
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︎ Jul 03 2022
I used to do drugs in the 90โs.
Now I donโt care what temperature it is.
๐︎ 2k
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︎ Apr 24 2022
What's the worst conversation starter?
The Titanic. It's not a great ice-breaker.
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︎ Jun 14 2022
What do you call Jamaican Judge?
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︎ Aug 18 2022
I wish someone would tell me what "IDK" means.
Every time I ask, they say "I don't know."
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︎ Jul 31 2022
Healthy relationships are a lot like an exciting game of cricket.
It's all about the boundaries
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︎ Jul 29 2022
I had a brief rap career that never really took off
I was known as Da Middle Kid and never got any attention.
(Alternate version: I was once part of a rap duo with Da Baby, but he always got All the attention. You've probably never even heard of me, I was Da Middle Kid.)
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︎ Sep 07 2022
Ah finally. Da Queen
๐︎ 4k
๐
︎ Jan 20 2021
I used to hate minions
๐︎ 54
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︎ Jul 06 2022
We all know where the Big Apple is. But does anyone know where the...
๐︎ 2k
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︎ Apr 19 2022
Charli da mello (I'm sorry)
๐︎ 6
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︎ Dec 23 2021
Maybe I am a bed.
Because all the bedsheets happens to me.
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︎ Jul 26 2022
Where do you find a grieving crocodile?
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︎ Aug 12 2022
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