A list of puns related to "Custom Car"
βNo. No. This car go road.β
(saw a meme with this awhile back. Gets me every time)
So I say "of course, that's a great idea. That's really thinking outside the box."
One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car thatβs very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said βIβve been very slow all my life, so when Iβm going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargotβ
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me: "No, car no fly, car go roads"
Manager: "Can I see you in my office?"
Snail slides into a Tesla dealership after seeing Elon Musk on TV. Inches his way up to a salesperson. Snail asks to go on a test drive, the sales person shrugs, says sure, why not. It's been a slow day.
After it's over, snail is impressed. "I gotta get one of these!
Saleswoman asks if he can afford it. He is, after all, a snail. Snail retreats into his shell comes out with a wad of cash, the exact amount for the car.
"Yeah lady, I can pay! Can I get it customized?"
The woman says of course, but it'll cost more. Snail whips out more dough.
Snail says "Paint it with pink S's all over the vehicle!"
The saleswoman says sure and asks why.
The snail says "When I'm driving around, I want people to say 'WOW! Look at that fast, pink electric S-car go!'"
John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.
However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'
Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the problem. After listening to John, his manager said, "Oh boy, looks like I need to talk to the manager of the 'Red Pigment' department again. This is not the first time that it has happened. Those Red-editors in that department love to copy and repost other people's original work as their own."
John then asked, "How are you so sure that it was them who are responsible?"
His manager replied, "Well, you can be certain that it is them as they always love jokes or puns especially in the comment section."
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
customer: "how many cars do you see?"
me: "none"
customer: "well i see two lincolns. how many snakes do you see?"
me: "none"
customer: "i see a pair of copperheads here. how many naked ladies do you see?"
me: "none."
customer: "well yeah, what do you expect for two cents?"
Me: Oh hey, there's an unusual license plate.
GF: Where?
point to car in front of us. Custom license plate number: Unusual
GF: Groan
I'm a cashier at -insert big name car dealership- while talking to customer, I got joked.
"I'm gonna need a couple signatures from you sir, right here, and here"
"But I've only got one signature..."
And all I could do was roll my eyes, shake my head and chuckle.
So my manager beings to ask a customer about his tattoos, since she's interested in getting some work done. It gets to the point where he's talking about the names he has on him.
Guy: "This one is my son, this one is my daughter..."
Manager: "What about your wife?"
Guy: "My wife? She's in the car."
Idk, I laughed at it.
An old-slow snail decides one day that he has had enough of the townsfolk belittling him for his pace. He spends about three-days making his way over to the Car-Dealership so that he can buy himself a sports car.
While at the dealership he asks the salesman if they will customize his Corvette for him. The Salesman replies, "Sure! What can we do for you!?"
The snail replies, "I would like you to paint a big, red "S" on the side of my car?"
The salesman says, confused, "Of course we can."
The customization is done and the Salesman turns to the Snail and says, "We're all finished, but I have to ask---While looking through your information I couldn't find any reason why you would want an 'S' on your car---Your first or last name doesn't start with 'S', So--Why the heck did you want that 'S' on your car?!"
The Snail turns to him and replies gently- " For years I have been tormented by the people of my town, and now I'll get to fly by them in my fancy sports-car, and they'll all say: 'Wow! Look at that 'S' Car go!"
I work at this local grocery store called Bueche's (shoutouts to you if you know that store), and at this store we take the groceries out to the customer's car.
Me: "And finally, here are your eggs, Sir."
Dadjoker: "What? I'm a man! I don't lay eggs!"
Customer: Cargo space?
Car salesman: Car no go space, car go road.
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