Covert Coat Puns

Again not the original poster, this is continued from my previous post. To fit into two posts I had to cut the second update in two. Now back to the story!

Trigger Warning: Child Abuse

For a second I couldn’t believe it, I sort of just froze and stared at his name as though it would morph into something else, but it didn’t. The letters stayed exactly as they were and I dragged the cursor over the ‘accept’ button, hovering in thought for no more than a couple of seconds before I rapidly clicked on it.

I accepted the friend request, and dove into his profile.

The comments on his wall, the apps, the people in his friends list, and eventually, the photos, too. I spent a good three hours creeping his profile, to the point that it was dark outside when I finally stopped. I came to realize he went to the same school as Dean’s little brother. The one in the next city over. They were apparently on the debate team together, and … from what I had gathered in my innocent snooping … Nicky had seen one of the funny comments I had left on one of Dean’s brother’s pictures, recognized my name, and added me.

It was a silly picture. Something from Halloween if I remember correctly.

I remember thinking a few things while viewing the pictures in Nicky’s profile.

First, his hair was different. Slightly darker but still blond. Second, he was a lot taller. Very close to six feet if not all the way there. Third, he was the spitting image of his father.

I felt a lump in my throat, one that didn’t really go away until my mother called me down to have dinner.

Within an instant my parents could tell something was up. They didn’t ask, they just knew. Still, I tried my best to act normal and stuff my face the way I usually did. Once dinner was done, I took our empty dishes to the sink and washed them by hand, the way I did every evening. The whole time I was thinking about Nicky, the way he looked so happy in his pictures, and the fact that he had added me out of nowhere. Truthfully I had considered searching him up on Facebook many a time, but I had never followed through. In part, because I was afraid he wouldn’t remember me … and in part, because he had very clearly severed ties with me before moving. I had no idea if he even wanted to hear from me. The fact that he had added me, however, had put an end to those worries.

I went upstairs after, slipping into my bedroom with the lights off, and plopped down on my desk chair.

This time there was a message from h

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

#CHECK THE BOTTOM FOR DETAILS

I was fresh out of college, ambitious, hard-working and in debt.

I applied for hundreds of jobs and attended dozens of interviews, all while working the night shift at a twenty-four-hour convenience store.

But I kept hitting the brick wall of not having the right experience. It was so frustrating. I knew I could do ninety per-cent of what the job specs asked for. The other ten per-cent I was sure I could work out when I needed to.

It was a no every time though, and, it did not matter how many times I read on feedback emails that I was ‘very talented’ and the interviewers had ‘enjoyed meeting me’, each and every rejection sucked.

I did not need compliments I needed a damn job.

So, I wasn’t feeling very positive as I filled in yet another application form for a job I had seen online. It wasn’t even a proper job. It was for an internship with a research company, unpaid and for three months.

For the experience, I told myself as I fought to finish the form.

I finally did. Just before I had to leave for work I pressed ‘send’. Then I threw on my coat and hurried out the door. The shelves would not stack themselves.

The next morning I was dragging myself into bed when I noticed I had a reply to my latest application showing on my phone.

Thinking, At least the rejections are getting quicker, I almost did not read it. But my finger twitched and I opened – and, to my amazement, I was told I had been accepted onto the internship programme.

All I needed to do was read and accept the terms and conditions. But who does that, right?

I scrolled down and accepted, then rolled over and went to sleep.

The alarm on my mobile woke me at one in the afternoon. I couldn’t remember setting an alarm but obviously I must have. Then I thought: the internship. And rushed to look at the message again.

There it was: ‘Please arrive promptly at three p.m. for your induction’. This was followed by an address.

It was way out of town but thanks to the alarm I had time.

I am so on it, I told myself and hurried for the shower.

As it was, I was almost late. There was a line to get through the security checks at the entrance to the building. The place didn’t look anything special. It could have been a stock image brought up from a search for ‘big faceless office block’.

When my turn came I was asked to empty my pockets and walk through a body scanner. This was a fancy looking piece of kit and gave me a 360 degrees going over.

I felt kind of violated to be honest and, a

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Fenn's origin story

From Fenn's website:

>The urge to collect started for Forrest Fenn at age nine when he found his first arrowhead. It was just lying there in a plowed field on Little Elm Creek in Central Texas, waiting for him to come along. He still claims it is the most treasured object in his collection. “It was a thrill that started me on a long journey of adventure and discovery,” he said. (source)

From a 1971 interview:

https://preview.redd.it/mfmb5hgpirc81.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=dbc002300c7e8cc6814c6c262b3901737a90cdd9

(Source - Lubbock Avalanche-Journal Aug 28, 1971)

This newspaper article seems to be the only place where Fenn mentions he was in the scouts.

Fenn's Boy Scout Poem

In Too Far to Walk Forrest told the story of his first arrowhead, and directly introduced a poem his dad had sent him.

>The thrill of finding my first arrowhead ranks among my fondest memories. It was not the arrowhead alone that marked the event; it was also that my father was there to share it with me. I have long remembered the expression on his face as he watched mine. A few years before he died, he sent me this poem. Some words can be worth a thousand pictures. (Page 249 TFTW).

https://preview.redd.it/1l2kehjugqd81.jpg?width=3523&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2984521141aaf8d75e5c40ae37addef2230c684

As it turns out, the full-page poem in Too Far to Walk pg 250 is ripped out of the 1936 Boy Scout Handbook. And it is right when you open the book - BEFORE THE TABLE OF CONTENTS! This seems like a blaring hint - why didn't Fenn mention he found the arrowhead while in the scouts, but instead covertly included this boy scout poem?

Printed originally in Boy's Life magazine (the Boy Scout magazine), and the 1936 Boy Scout Handbook, and virtually nowhere else

Norman Rockwell

The drawings in TTOTC are famously nearly all based on Norman Rockwell paintings.

The sketch in TTOTC, and Norman Rockwell's painting.

Guess who made the cover of the 1936 Boy Scout Handbook, and mor

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

What’s your universes villain group named and why do they team up? In my universe I have IMPERIUM, the children of the city’s crime families, who individually also act as reoccurring villains throughout the series.

At the height of the Vietnam War, the US army and the Department of STAAR (A covert government agency) began issuing experimental drugs and serums to medical patients and monitoring the effects in hopes that they could recreate a super team they once had. The experiments showed no immediate results in the subjects, and the project was abandoned after the fall of Saigon. However, while those who’d been given the treatment went on to live their lives and remain unaffected by the experiments, their descendants would go on to have traits manifest generations later.

As kids, the four of them were brought together by their parents so that their Familias (crime families/organizations) could broker a truce between them. In time, they grew up to become the snobbish rich kids and bullies at their school, the kind of kids who rules seemingly don’t apply to and no one wants to mess with. Already a group of brats with low morals, once their powers began to manifest in their teenage years, and feeling spurned by being little more than a means to an end to keep their families from fighting, the four super-powered teens sought to use their combined powers to not only topple their parents empires, but to take them for their own, and show the city what absolute power truly means.

Zack Smith / Voltage : Has the power of electricity, can generate and project lightning bolts, can use static electricity in the air to make himself float/fly, has the ability to change his physical form into an energy current that he can use to disappear/reappear like teleportation as well as travel through the air in the form of a blinding bolt of lightning. Zack can also travel through wires, electrical sockets, power outlets, telephone lines, computers, and even cell phones.

Robert Smith / Lava Man : A human volcano, Robert has the power to generate and coat himself in Obsidian armor that’s as razor sharp as it is nearly impossible to break, can emit pyroclastic cloud bursts that incinerate and suffocate everything in their path, can heat metal around him into molten states that he can then throw at enemies, and is even capable of causing small yet powerful seismic quakes by stomping his feet.

Moses Barrios / Steelex : The quote on quote “weakest” member of

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

Would prefer caps until full and only taking offers. Please ignore everything in brackets, thanks.

Weapons

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Aid

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Ammo

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People keep telling me that shadow work would help me a lot in my inner child healing process. But how does one even go about it?

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Put it on my bill