When the councilor asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage, she said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns...

I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
So proud of my son

My son was a councilor at a summer camp for kids.

One day he came home from work and told me that he heard me come out of his mouth twice in one day.

Whenever we drove somewhere with the kids, the answer to the inevitable question, "how much longer till we get there", was 20 minutes, whether it was 5 minutes or 5 hours.

So, they were taking a bus load of kids to the baseball stadium and one kid asked, "how much longer till we get there", and my son almost bit his own tongue off when he heard himself say , "20 minutes".

While they were waiting on line to enter the stadium, another kid asked, "How long do we have to wait?" My son answered, "four minutes and 60 seconds." This elicited the response, "That's too long," to which he replied, "well how about five minutes".

He tried to bash his own head against the rocks.

I'm so proud. :-)

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/small_e_900
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.