I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"...

But it's just a curd to me...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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OMG... some guy just threw yogurt, cottage cheese and brie at me!

HOW DAIRY!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A genie appeared and granted me one wish: I said I wanted to be happy.

Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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I know that Shepherd’s Pies don’t contain Shepherds and Cottage Pies aren’t made from cottages, but with meat pies...

...what’s the beef?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Cottage cheese is just cheese that doesn’t want to live in the city anymore.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TinOfPop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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I was trying to hammer down a loose board at the cottage...

I'm not much of a craftsman but my fiancΓ© says I nailed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Darth Vader sent out invitations to his cottage party.

He wrote β€œcome to the dock side”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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I was hanging out with my friend from Mexico the other day and he asked me how runny I like my cottage cheese.

I told him "No whey, Jose"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Milk-Wizard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I’m proud of my daughter.

Son: What is cottage cheese? Me: Cheese you eat in a cottage. Wife: When curds and whey separate. Daughter: This is the way!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OverKast78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My wife told me our cottage cheese was just one big curd

I replied, "No whey!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairfairy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
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My dad was complaining about cottage cheese in his dinner

"I won't eat cottage cheese, but I'll eat house cheese."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tabbynickel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
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What did the cow build it’s house out of?

Cottage Cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCosmonaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Jack and the Beanstalk meets Little Red Riding Hood

This is the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, after the story ends. After chopping down the beanstalk, Jack realizes that he’s actually pretty damn good with an axe, and casual vegetative vandalism really struck his fancy, so he began chopping down other trees for a living. He became a traveling woodsman, and he enjoyed many years of his simple life of manual labor.

One day, as he chops wood, he hears screams from a nearby cottage. Hurriedly breaking in (because recall: jack has no problem with entering houses uninvited), he sees a cross dressing lycanthrope attempting to devour a little girl dressed all in red and her little grandmother too. Wielding his trusty axe, Jack murdered yet another fantasy creature, and safely led Little Red all the way back home. Answering the door was a beautiful woman of around his age. After sending Little Red to bed, the two of them talked for hours.

One thing led to another, and a year later they were married with a child on the way. They had a beautiful little boy named Jack Junior who followed in his father’s steps to become a woodsman. This was fortunate, because as Junior grew up, Jack was feeling the pain of his previous adventures. An old back injury from jumping from the beanstalk was haunting him, and over time his posture grew more and more hunched. He had a tough time working, but at least Junior was becoming a strapping young man.

One day, Jack and Junior took the long road to the grandmothers place to bring her a meal, just like that fateful trio Red took so many years ago. When they arrived, the grandmother greeted them cheerily, welcoming them in and making conversation. β€œOh Junior,” she said, β€œyou’ve grown into such a handsome and strong young man. It’s so kind of you to handle all the work so your poor father, with his bad back and all, doesn’t have to. Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” Junior hesitated. β€œWell Grandma,” he replied. β€œIt’s because... I’m gay”. The close-minded, set-in-her-ways grandma’s expression became stormy. She pulled poor hunched-over Jack into adjacent room, and whispered angrily: β€œJack, your life is a mess! Your posture is terrible and your son isn’t giving me any grandsons!” Jack replied: β€œMa, we’re happy, you can’t just-β€œ But she interrupted. β€œNo excuses!” She snapped. β€œYou need to straighten your lumbar, Jack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coyoteTale
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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"What kind of house does cheese like to live in?"

"A cottage"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dixie_Vicious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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What do you call coagulated milk found at your summer home?

Cottage Cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eleece
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2017
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Kind of a dirtier dad joke but my dad said this when I was 12 and it was hilarious.

We were on a road trip to the cottage and we stopped at a service center to get gas, food etc.

My brother and I go to the washroom urinals and we are both taking a piss. My dad walks in the washroom and says "Oh, so this is where the dicks hang out."

I Didn't understand the pun then but I appreciate how funny it is now that I'm older.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1337Scott
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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Girlfriend got me good last night

Visiting her parents cottage where her dad has a large collection of antique cans, she pointed out a shelf with some antique cans I hadn't seen before.

Me: "Oh, are those new cans?"

Gf: "no, they're old cans!"

She's ready to be a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/relevant84
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2015
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I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"

But it's just a curd to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_22_14_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why are there so few cheese producers in the city?

Because cottage cheese is common, but not skyscraper cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Antique_Goose1989
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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What did the mouse use to build his house?

Cottage cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aueagleswr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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What does a mouse build its house out of?

Cottage cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/intelligentbun
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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