Cooking Stove Puns

Because it’s a non-stick pan...

I told her I wanted it cooked on a stove.

I'm sure it would be more hygienic to cook it on the stove.

So we are both in the kitchen cooking on the stove. I'm stirring the pasta and feel it is sticking on the bottom. He notices and says:

Him: is it sticking?

Me: a little on the bottom

Him: Well turn it down.

Me (directly at pot on stove): I'm sorry, I don't like you that way, I think we should just be friends.

Him: (blank stare, shaking head)

My wife was making gravy at the stove when she whisked too hard and splashed some on her hand, burning herself.

Not missing this opportunity I said "well you know what they say about burning yourself cooking at home.... it's the whisk you take.

I'm standing at the stove looking bored, cooking a spelt broth.

Dad: If you want to know when that's ready, you'll need to use speltcheck.

Just got my girlfriend with this one. I had been doing some work on my laptop on the kitchen bench and left it charging with the cable going over the stove top. My girlfriend said "xenzor, can you move your laptop. I need to cook and can't eat your laptop", I instantly came back with "if you're hungry it's ok there are lots of Megabytes".