Contester Puns

Unfortunately no pun intended

I guess you could say the steaks were high

...you dim sum, you lose some.

"Well prayed"

When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.

and it was all taken away in the blink of an eye.

It ended in a draw.

With a tie.

You had to send in your best puns, via snail mail, in an orderly list. I sent ten in, thinking at least one would win me a prize, but no pun in ten did.

I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.

DaFEET!

I won by a 3-stick margarine.

Judge: Repeat infractions?

Man: Sure. I want to contest half of my parking tickets!

Atrophy

A Dough-gree

Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........

Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php

It was a Thai

The contestant spells it right and the judge replies: “Eso si que es.

We found out how low they could go.

I've got butterflies in my stomach.

20 Was in the lead "24 the win!" The crowd shouted. Sadly 30 challenged him and 31. But they realized it was a tie! Because 0, 1, 2! And they all 8 together, The end.

'Punnit' is hosted by myself and played over three rounds. The first two rounds consist of one category (say, Musical Genres & Ailments), with each contestant going in turn and giving their best 5 entries. Such as, HIVy Metal, Honky Tonksillitis, Indiegestion etc.

These two categories are known about a week or so prior so everyone can bring their best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) but the third round is entirely on the spot, with the entrants shouting out whatever they can think of for a category. One of the recent being American Presidents & American States, with OklaBama winning that one.

It's all very much in the early stages but I would appreciate both feedback on the format and people getting in touch if they wanna duke it out.

Here are the episodes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKJOzYgG9MW7CQHAZQahiqw/videos

Follow us too @thepunpodcast

An onion.

After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...

"You reap what you saw".

Because Olaf ate six, Sven ate nine.

That's the paunch-line.

I didn’t win but the judges said I made a real ass of myself.

I thought to myself that toucan play at that game.

He's an Oscar Myer Winner

So they gave me a posh trophy.

No pun in ten did.

Belgians.

I won despite the many neigh sayers

Telepathetic

Edit: How tf this is my first post that blew over 1k!!

Even though it might look like he's lion, I'm pretty sure he ain't a cheetah

His moves were a little rusty

Seems to be working as I'm undie-feeted.

Not exactly a joke, just something to taco bout.

He was declared Victor.

The contest was for prose only.

My prize was a bronesie

Unpresidented.

Nobody

Right now it is neck and neck.

but in the end it was a tie.

They drew.

Urine over your head

Tentative title: The Greatest Snowman

because it is just beta.

They claim I tested positive for stare-oids.

I was so close I could taste it.

They didn't like the crop.

I think that's Dgrading

It's a hollow win.

He was given a constellation prize

The Englishman and Cowboy were tied in a contest of who was better, when the crowd decided that, as a tie breaker, they were to perform a live poem and incorporate the words "Hunting" and "Timbuktu."

The Englishman went first:

"The hunting is always grand, When in search of good land. Off in the caravan we pursue, Looking, for Timbuktu."

The crowd went wild, knowing that the cowboy couldn't win the contest, the Englishmans poem was just too good. He smiled as well, and stood aside for the cowboy.

The cowboy paused for a moment as if remembering something, then recited:

"Well it was Tim and I, off huntin we went, When I spied three women in a tent. I motioned to Tim, and he saw them too, Then I bucked one, and Timbuktu."

Guess you can't win the mall

Her performance was seamless.

Defeat.

They're much easier than human contests.

is that a win Nguyen scenario?

He wrecked 'em.

One has more prose.

No perches necessary.

...that's the lowest thing you can do.

No pun in ten did.

Judge: Repeat infractions?

Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!

But no pun in ten did.

but no pun in ten did.

I really wanted one to win, but no pun in ten did.

But no pun intended

It ended in a draw

But no pun in ten did.

But no pun intended

But it ended in a draw.

Sadly, no pun in ten did

He placed 10 of his best puns hoping at least one would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.

He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.