Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???
My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness"
All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"
It sure would be one hell of a confusion
Why is there confusion over the health of North Korea’s leader?
When the reporter asked the doctor “how is Kim Jong Un?”
Doctor replied: Kim Jong Ill
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
I tried looking up synonyms of confusion.
But I came away with uncertainty and disorientation.
What do you call a group of pandas in confusion and creating chaos?
I was directing a film the other day, and there was a lot of confusion as to who was handling all the costumes.
Basically set decoration, we had a small crew. A lot of the actors and the rest of the crew were confused who was in charge of those items. Luckily, Jason was a reliable, honest guy. In fact, he was one of the most honest, dependable people I knew on set.
So that evening before we had dinner together, I called Jason to the center, and thanked him for the quality of work that he'd put out so far, and I said "Props to Jason."
My wife was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so I asked her if she was my clone from Moscow. She looked confused and said "No, why?"
I said "Because you're Russian me."
What did ununhexium say when it was confused?
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from her vegetarian restaurant. I was a bit confused.
My kids get confused when I throw whole basil leaves at them this time of year
But as they say, 'tis the season
Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
What’s the most confusing kind of math
Toilet paper math (20=46)
Yesterday I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza".
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
I used to be so confused about everything but now I'm not sure.
My girlfriend asked me to feed her anaconda hotdogs while she is out of town. I did, but it wouldn’t touch them. Confused, I called her and asked why
She said: “My anaconda don’t want none unless it has buns, hun”
Son: "all these plot twists are making me confused"
Me: "Hi confused, I'm Mom"
A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.
Because there were so many mummies.
I think my sink is a little clogged
If I had a nickel every time I was confused
I’d be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?
Confusing Venus with Aphrodite is no big deal.
It’s just a mythunderstanding.
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch...
...Yetti never complains.
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"
"I don't know, bud, what?"
"Your legs."
Well done, kid.
Got a new tattoo
My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(
I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa.
The Methiah (crossposted)
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
My wife insisted she has nudist genes
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don’t. You get down off a duck.
*stares with confusing concern*
Her: what?
Me: ... What IS that?!
Her: what's what?
Me: there's someone on the side of your face...
Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face
Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
What do you call a confused wireless connection?
My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.
Confused and upset, I asked why.
The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.
I was trying to sell my car to this guy. He asked a bunch of questions about it and seemed interested, then asked “cargo space?” I was confused and told him no.
In Past, I used to be so confused about everything
I got the word "jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" confused
Now I'm in hot water with the japanese mafia.
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch...
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch
It’s abominable...
Yeti never complains...
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch.
I've gone and confused the words 'Yakuza' with 'Jacuzzi'
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion.
What connection is confused?
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