Salvéte omnés.
Puerí ante víllam sedent et patrem eórum expectant. Aemilia ante víllam nón est, sed in peristýló virum suum exspectat. Aemilia laeta nón est, quod Iúlius abest. Iúlia in cubiculó suó lacrimat, quod násum suum foedum iudicat. Syra in cubiculó Iuliae intrat. Syram interrogat, num násus eius foedus sit. Haec násum foedum Iúliae nón esse respondet immó násum Iuliae tam formósum, quam násum huius. Tunc Iúlia speculum ante násum Syrae tenet. Syra násum in speculó videt, oculós claudit, tacet, quod násum Syrae nón formósum, sed foedum est. Iúlius ex Tusculó revertit et ante óstium víllae venit. Serví lectíca, in quá Iúlius est, in soló ante óstium pónunt. Iúlius salutem puerís dicit et per óstium in víllam intrat. Post eum serví Leander et Syrus cum saccís in umerís in villam intrat. Nunc puerí, Serví et Iúlius in átrió sunt. Puerí Iúlium rogat, quid in saccís inest. Iúlius é saccó primó mála sumit et Márcum Quíntumque démónstrat. Uterque ab Iúlió málum accipit. Deinde Iulius saccum secundum aperit et ex eó pira sumit et Márcó Quíntóque dat. Quod Márcus Iulium interrogat, num is servís mála piráque det, Iulius illís mála piráque item dat. Deinde Aemilia cum Délia ex peristyló venit et in átrium intrat. Ea ad Iulium adit, salutat et ósculum dat (can i drop eó here?). Aemilia laeta est, quod Iulius postrémó ad eam revertit. Iulius Aemiliam quaerit, ubi Iúlia sit. Aemilia Iúliam rosás in hortó carpere esse dicit. ed Iulia in hortó nón est. Márcus et Quíntus Iúliam frustra vocant. Syra item abest. Tum Délia utramque quaerit et in cubiculó Iúliae invenit. Délia Iúliam imperat in Átrió venire, quod Iúlius eam exspectent. Iúlia ex cubiculó suó exit, in Átrium intrat, patrem videt, ad eum currit eique ósculum dat. Iúlia Iúlium quaerit, num násum suum foedum sit. Iúlius id negat et Iúliam dicit násum suum tam formósum esse, quam hunc málum. Iulius Iúliae málum dat. Laeta est et máló suó ósculum dat. Quod Aemilia Iúlium quaerit, num ancillís suís mála et pira dare possit, illás ad sé vocat et illís ea dat.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Amy
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
