What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma’s a pause at the end of a clause.
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
There’s always an Oxford comma.
If you can’t find it it’s a comma chameleon.
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
This is one Pryce that never fluctuates in value
There should be an international assembly for the proper way to separate out a sentence...
The Commawealth of Nations
What separates man from animal?
Divorce.
#community#starburns
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A comma. A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
A comma.
A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
If Apple made a car what would it be missing?
My cat is so comfortable he went into a comma
Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge.
It's a viscous cycle.
My family didn't like this nearly as much as the pancakes I was making, sadly.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
I got ten voicemails from Jamaica in the span of an hour. Each message was a separate Bob Marley song.
Some was obviously jammin my phone.
My cat has feet like a comma
Bill Gates and his wife are separating
Guess his dick was micro-soft
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas
Batman is afraid of bats, and Spider-Man is afraid of spiders.
Now I know why they call me a ladies' man.
Finally learnt how to separate my washing into lights and darks...
Turns out there can be a bit of a grey area
Context is just as important as punctuation in "Lets eat, Grandma!".
For example, do you have your Father's eyes or do you have your Father's eyes?
My friend told me he's going to try to get a large group of wolves to separate from each other.
There's a lot to unpack there.
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
A semicolon got arrested
It got 2 back to back sentences.
A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.
Because there were so many mummies.
What part of your body, dies last?
Your pupils, as they dielate
How do punctuation learn to be intimate?
By reading the Comma Sutra.
Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence.
For example
Ben is in a hurry
vs
Ben is in a comma
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
What kind of movies do commas watch?
People who think semi-colons & commas are the same, are missing the point.
Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.
My response: Not sure son, that’s kind of a grey area.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a comma has its pause at the end of its clause.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its’ paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other has a pause at the end of its clause.
Jeff, an Oxford comma, and a semicolon walk into a bar.
They both had a great time.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, while the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma
One has claws at the end of its paws, one is a pause at the end of a clause
What's the difference between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of the paws... The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
My 3 favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What's the difference between "comma" and "coma"?
My three favorite things are eating my kids and not using commas.
My friend was found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.
My father was a conjoined twin.
His brother was my uncle on my fathers side once removed.
Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar.
Both of them had a great time.
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