Clementine Puns

Me: This clementine juice is nicer than eating an actual clementine.

Dad: And this Budweiser is nicer than eating an actual bud.

"But don't tell anyone," he said with a dad-twinkle in his eye, "or they'll ALL want one!"

kangarude

I work at an airport. I had been fueling for a bit when a local flight instructor came in asking for fuel right as I sat down for breakfast.

"Hey man. Can I get some fuel for my plane?"

"Dude, you saw me just sit down to eat my clementine," I said jokingly.

"What, do you have a special break for eating those things?"

To which I replied, "Yeah, I call it clementime."

Needless to say, my girlfriend is probably leaving me for that one.

Wife "your lunch is very orange"

4yo "what do you mean? "

Wife "well you have Mac and cheese which is orange and a Clementine which is orange"

Me "well, the Clementine is only a little orange"

We were walking through produce and as we're passing by the fruit she sees some clementines and says "Clementines are yummy, I just wanna eat em!" To which I replied "Clementine will remember this."

She was sitting in the next room eating a clementine and called me in.

"Shepy66! Look at this slice!"

"Oh, yeah, it's pretty big."

"Yeah, big enough to be a homeslice."

I've taught her well.

From a convo between me and my gf on Gchat:

Me: did you bring a lunch with you?

gf: I brought a secret lunch. Today it is crackers and a clementine

Me: spy apples?

gf: HA. I take off the wrappers and peel at home and snack stealthily.

Me: so you have a sneack?

gf: precisely

Me: or a clandestintine?

gf: WOW