Clementine Puns

Me: This clementine juice is nicer than eating an actual clementine.

Dad: And this Budweiser is nicer than eating an actual bud.

"But don't tell anyone," he said with a dad-twinkle in his eye, "or they'll ALL want one!"

kangarude

Wife "your lunch is very orange"

4yo "what do you mean? "

Wife "well you have Mac and cheese which is orange and a Clementine which is orange"

Me "well, the Clementine is only a little orange"

I work at an airport. I had been fueling for a bit when a local flight instructor came in asking for fuel right as I sat down for breakfast.

"Hey man. Can I get some fuel for my plane?"

"Dude, you saw me just sit down to eat my clementine," I said jokingly.

"What, do you have a special break for eating those things?"

To which I replied, "Yeah, I call it clementime."

Needless to say, my girlfriend is probably leaving me for that one.

We were walking through produce and as we're passing by the fruit she sees some clementines and says "Clementines are yummy, I just wanna eat em!" To which I replied "Clementine will remember this."

She was sitting in the next room eating a clementine and called me in.

"Shepy66! Look at this slice!"

"Oh, yeah, it's pretty big."

"Yeah, big enough to be a homeslice."

I've taught her well.

From a convo between me and my gf on Gchat:

Me: did you bring a lunch with you?

gf: I brought a secret lunch. Today it is crackers and a clementine

Me: spy apples?

gf: HA. I take off the wrappers and peel at home and snack stealthily.

Me: so you have a sneack?

gf: precisely

Me: or a clandestintine?

gf: WOW