My Honda Civic was banned from the drive-in movies

They say it contains a huge spoiler.

I made that up on the spot and told it to my kid. He told me it's not funny and it's a horrible joke. 😟

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIIXOO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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A girl invited me to have sex on her Honda Civic

But i like to have sex on my own Accord

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgl51995
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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My girlfriend refused to have sex on my Honda civic.

She said she will do it on her own Accord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanglimara
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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When it’s dark and you are picking up after your dog while a vehicle drives by with it’s headlights on, it is not only convenient, it is putting a spotlight on your civic duty
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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Why couldn’t my Honda Civic fit in my garage?

Not enough vroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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I wonder if the mechanics at the Honda dealership had to take a Civics lesson...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewd-roth-sama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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What do you call a leaking Honda Civic?

A Honda Sieveic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmxrocks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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Dad called to say he's picking me up in his new Civic...

He said he's honda way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josh6190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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For my next car, I’m going to buy a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs.

It will be my Civic duty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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My girlfriend brought up a YouTuber therapist named Dr. Honda...

What follows is a transcription of our conversation

Me: I hope he helps his patients find Accord in their lives

Her: Well therapy is only one Element to success

Me: He's just doing his Civic duty

Her: He gives them Clarity and Insight

Me: On their Odyssey through life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-L-Picard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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My wife and I met at the store when we were both buying a copy of the Disney movie β€œup”

It was the perfect meet cute and we kept both copies even after getting married. It was sweet. Not all things are meant to last and when things got a bit rocky we decided to get divorced. I let her keep the apartment and moved my stuff out. Unfortunately, we live in one of those states that mail out ballots. She sent me a text a week after I had left to let me know my ballot had come to the apartment. We had ended things amicably, but neither of us wanted to see each other so soon. Committed to my civic duty, I dropped by after work the next day. When she opened the door she was in tears. She had me come in and I immediately saw it, I had forgotten to take my copy of the movie. Somehow, this felt more final than actually signing the divorce papers. I still cared about her, so I asked if she wanted to talk at all. She shook her head and said through tears, β€œJust take your Up, vote and go.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silent--Soliloquy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I also knew someonewho felt morally obligated to drive an economy sized Honda

She felt it was her Civic duty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurdent6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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The CEO of Honda was fired, and the cops were called to remove him from his office.

He refused to leave on his own Accord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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What's a pirates favorite vehicle?

The Civic Type ARRRR

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sushiblanket
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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My infant son crapped his pants while I was voting today.

He was just fulfilling his civic doodie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdmccabe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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HELP!! I'm in need of some pun name ideas for my new pub!

like the title says im in need of a funny/catchy/witty/ pun name for my new pub! there are already a few pubs around with catchy pun names like pub-lick, and sub-urban (they make sub sandwiches at lunch) can we come up with something better!! some info that might help you out. the pub is going to be in canberra, act, australia in the city centre i.e. civic.

lets see what we can come up with!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaleBoydd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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I was pretty mad when a bird pooped all over my Honda right after I washed it

But I guess it was only doing its Civic doody.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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On our way to vote today...

I was getting in my car (a Chevy) and my dad tells me to get in our Honda instead. Why? "It's our Civic duty."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jskoker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
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Famous Viking explorer returns home..

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom_Swiftie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2012
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Anarchists would find difficulty working at Honda specialists.

They don't like a hierarchy handing down Civic duties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuba_man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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I have decided to buy a new Honda directly from Japan and pay all the tariffs.

It will be my Civic duty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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For my next car, I’m thinking of buying a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the tariffs.

It’ll be my Civic duty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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The CEO of Honda was fired and had to be escorted out of the building.

He did not leave on his own Accord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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