Circumcision Puns Aren't Funny

My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.

There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and doctors when the bridge comes to be crossed.

I'm not going to go through and answer all of the questions and insults individually, I have a newborn to take care off, but y'all feel free to hash it out.

Also, I still think my joke was pretty damn funny.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oemus2776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I phoned the clinic enquiring about a circumcision.

I got cut off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimeAndGlory
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Want to hear a circumcision joke?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 262
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Sheev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?

Tell em’ to keep the tip.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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People say circumcision doesn’t hurt, but i have to disagree.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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I asked the mods whether I could post a joke about circumcision on this sub.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.

He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rajdhagat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I used to know a guy who did circumcision [NSFW]

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marajyub
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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What do u call an expensive circumcision

A rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThickCactus85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My circumcision was really hard on me...

I couldn't walk for a year afterward.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noblechimp84
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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My synagogue is famous for how little the mohel charges for a circumcision.

He just works for tips.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewer1056
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I once new a guy that used to do circumcisions

He told me, β€œThe money isn’t great, but I get to keep the tips”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Disneyworld is like circumcision.

a rite of passage best enjoyed by the young, and generally not worth repeating.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beingtwiceasnice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Did you hear what happened to the blind circumcision doctor?

He got the sack.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perp96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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You know what a German doctor shouts after a circumcision?

Off wienerskin!

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lolrly123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Considering getting my circumcision reversed.

Anyone have any tips?

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamironmankevin
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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What do you call a circumcision that costed $20 more than normal ?

A rip off

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Seeing a lot of jokes about circumcision on here reminded me of an old favorite....

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Circumcision is positively...

dickendsian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nyckname
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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It takes balls to have a circumcision
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dolor455
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Im going to be a circumcision doctor...

the pays not good but i get to keep the tips

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombieshark717
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Hey did you hear about the doctor who did circumcision

Well he wasn't paid much but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pidgeon_Centurian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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My wife said she wants to see a new documentary called "American Circumcision".

She said it's 1 hour and 40 minutes long.

I said, "An hour and forty minutes? Is that the uncut version?"

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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Documentary about American circumcision

Very cutting edge... And I'll give you a tip, make sure the kids are in bed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I used to work for a doctor specializing in circumcisions, but he never paid me a cent...

I guess you could say that I worked for tips

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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Be wary of cheap circumcisions.

You'll get ripped off !!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My doctor friend claims that he can do a circumcision without using surgical instruments.

I don’t think he’ll be able to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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What do you call a badly done circumcision?

A rip-off!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceTheAuthor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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You hear about the poor boy who was born without eyelids? They used the foreskin from his circumcision the only problem is...

He's a little cock eyed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCACCC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What's the oldest age someone could get a circumcision ?

I just need to know the cut-off date.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisj1616
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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I wanted to make a joke about circumcision

But I kind of cut myself off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_GUAPO__KB312
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RazorDecoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What Do You Call A Cheap Circumcision?

A Rip-Off

πŸ‘︎ 320
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zniper746
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision A rip-off.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gdrhvddfh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip off

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3rpyD0lphin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

a rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seegerts86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to know a guy who did circumcisions

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoliathTheTitan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bad circumcision?

A rip-off.....

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBlue08
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who once used to do circumcisions for a living...

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dennis584
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Here is a joke about circumcision!

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fml-mat
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip off

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamVane24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a cheap circumcision

It was a rip-off.

πŸ‘︎ 283
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A Rip off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tijmackish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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I’ve always wonderedβ€” What is the oldest age that a person can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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