I found this gift that I got for Christmas soda-pressing! v.redd.it/6jekcmw036861
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rk_lancer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I’m having a hard time dealing with this.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I got my son a tire pump as a Christmas gift

He said it blows.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremeBaconist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tazzles26
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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We are putting away our unused Christmas gift wrap materials, and my son casually comments

β€œThey’re going to be napping papers”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jepoid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My grandpa got a tv as a Christmas gift in 1948

It was a low New Years resolution

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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As my daughter opened her last gift on Christmas morning with a sad look in her eyes...

I said: β€œIf you think that’s the end, you’ve got another thing coming!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yurgenbeard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.

With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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This guy stops in a second hand petshop looking for a last minute Christmas gift for his wife.

The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him β€œThis is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining β€œjingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. β€œRudolph” β€œFrosty the Snowman” β€œDrummer Boy” even β€œI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. β€œ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. β€œNO honey it really works watch!” β€œIm going to bed, Merry Christmas” says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. β€œWAIT Honey, one more time, please!” He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out β€œCHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hipphazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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It was around Christmas and I had bought gifts for everyone except my parents.

I had no idea what to get them. But after a long brainstorming I finally decided to get the a new fridge.

It's was actually so satisfying to see their faces lit up as they opened it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What it the best Christmas gift?

A broken drum.. you can never beat it

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Wolverine delivered tons of gifts on Christmas

People called him Santa Claws

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinish_anand
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Son, it is time you hear the truth. Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny are not real. Mum and I bring you the gifts.

Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acbro3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Rapping paper for my dad's Christmas gift.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SomeKindOfSound
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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The older you get the more practical your Christmas gifts get. This year my wife and I got a vacuum.

This gift sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ennsy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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People with birthdays falling on Christmas shouldn't mind that gifts are combined for the holiday...

Jesus sure didn't

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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In my family, we like to ridicule whoever gets the fewest amount of gifts at Christmas.

(This is a true story.)

Usually this is my Dad. My Mom will be opening presents all day, and Dad is done after he unwraps his three gifts.

We really give him a hard time and he loves it. He's a champ.

Well one year, we're opening gifts, and my brother's got almost nothing in his little pile. He had recently bought a house and his main gift was a garden hose.

This is exciting because we're gonna just tear into him. He is a good sport and he is ready to bask in the glory of his Christmas failure.

We finish the unwrapping and my Dad looks over to him and says "Well son, you really got hosed this year".

P.S. I am x-posting my own comment from an AskReddit thread at someone's suggestion, and definitely NOT in a shameless quest for karma.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbenz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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My great-grandmother always got me very thoughtful gifts for Christmas.

My so-so grandmother got me socks.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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What do you call a woolen coat that you get as a Christmas gift?

Fleece Navidad.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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I got my son a gift card for Christmas. I told him not to spend it all in one place.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genericbrand2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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I got you a gift for Christmas!

http://imgur.com/L1Oy5Kb.gif

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TooLazy4AName
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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Wife: Your Christmas gift sucks.

I think she likes her new vacuum cleaner.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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I'm almost finished with my Christmas gifts

I'm wrapping things up.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tikifire86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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My Christmas gifts are looking gangster this year.

I think it's the rapping paper.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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Dad dropped this one when discussing Christmas gifts.

Sister: "Dad, what you want for Christmas?" Dad: "Well, I put a stud finder on my wish list on Amazon. But I dunno, last time I borrowed one to hang a picture, it didn't work." "Why not?" "It kept pointing to me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RianonFTW
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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I always tell my kids to live in the present opening Christmas gifts.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoreCowbells
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
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My little brother just wants a bunch of steam gift cards for Christmas

Dad - "I have plenty of steam son, I can get you that for free."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magik_man_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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Talking to Dad about Sister's Christmas gift.

Me: "I don't know why the owl socks haven't shipped yet. I ordered the cat socks three weeks ago from the same company, and they shipped in two days. If they don't get here by Christmas, I'll have to ship them down to [Sister's] house in Tennessee, after she's left."

Dad: "Oh, I'm sure she won't give a hoot."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/axlkomix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Why was 6 so disappointed with his single Christmas gift?

Because there were 3 4 5.

Nobody ever gets it the first time I tell it. I have to repeat it every time. ;~;

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beeasaurusrex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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Couldn't pass up the opportunity after showing off my Christmas gifts

Needed information: My family and I are pretty big Chicago Blackhawks fans. There is a player on the Blackhawks with the name Patrick Sharp.

Story:

For Christmas I got a bunch of Blackhawk themed shirts ranging from t-shirts to long sleeved t-shirts that look like actual jerseys themselves. I got a decent amount of them from my girlfriend's family, so my family didn't see them right away as I opened them at their house. When I got home, I was very excited show them to my family.

So when I grab the long sleeved t-shirt jersey to show to my mom and she says, "Wow that is Sharp!".

I respond back with a grin on my face with a quick "No, there isn't a name on the back of it at all."

It clicked after a few seconds, but I got a groan and a "You knew what I meant..."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yab21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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Got dad joked over a christmas gift

Other day my dad is sitting on the couch, I asked him if I could get a candle for christmas. He then responded with "yeah I think I candool that for you"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xavibear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2014
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I bought a photo calendar for my dad this Christmas and it's really not a safe purchase for a gift..

.. It can't be returned and only comes with a one year warranty.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skaermtroldenhugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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Dad Joke in the family Christmas gift exchange notification email

> Here is the list of who buys for whom in the gift exchange. > > The rules are: Spend $50, no gift cards. (If you think $50 is too much then make it two $25 gifts.) > > PS: If you want to spend more on me I would understand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveIsLame2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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My wife and I have a nephew on the way and we're discussing Christmas gifts

Her: They got us a really nice gift when I was pregnant so I want to get them something nice.

Me: What did they get you?

Her: It was a really cute 5-piece onesie set.

Me: You mean a five-sie?

She got tired of me giggling about it and left the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/attic_raptors
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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Telling Dad about my Christmas gifts

I moved across the country a while ago, so I called my parents to tell them about my Christmas holiday.

> Me: I got some nice kitchen things, including a talking meat thermometer!

> Dad: That's great son, but where are you going to find talking meat?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cerealghost
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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I got my son the best gift ever for Christmas: a broken drum!

It's a gift you just can't beat!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SMHeenan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
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What's the best Christmas gift?

A broken drum. You can't beat it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jmac0585
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
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