I’m having a hard time dealing with this.
He said it blows.
And then someone commented "They must've thought you were a-Dora-ble.
So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.
I said: “If you think that’s the end, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“They’re going to be napping papers”
It was a low New Years resolution
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him “This is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining “jingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. “Rudolph” “Frosty the Snowman” “Drummer Boy” even “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. “ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. “NO honey it really works watch!” “Im going to bed, Merry Christmas” says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. “WAIT Honey, one more time, please!” He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out “CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”
I had no idea what to get them. But after a long brainstorming I finally decided to get the a new fridge.
It's was actually so satisfying to see their faces lit up as they opened it.
A broken drum.. you can never beat it
People called him Santa Claws
Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.
This gift sucks.
Jesus sure didn't
(This is a true story.)
Usually this is my Dad. My Mom will be opening presents all day, and Dad is done after he unwraps his three gifts.
We really give him a hard time and he loves it. He's a champ.
Well one year, we're opening gifts, and my brother's got almost nothing in his little pile. He had recently bought a house and his main gift was a garden hose.
This is exciting because we're gonna just tear into him. He is a good sport and he is ready to bask in the glory of his Christmas failure.
We finish the unwrapping and my Dad looks over to him and says "Well son, you really got hosed this year".
P.S. I am x-posting my own comment from an AskReddit thread at someone's suggestion, and definitely NOT in a shameless quest for karma.
My so-so grandmother got me socks.
http://imgur.com/L1Oy5Kb.gif
Fleece Navidad.
I think she likes her new vacuum cleaner.
I'm wrapping things up.
I think it's the rapping paper.
Sister: "Dad, what you want for Christmas?" Dad: "Well, I put a stud finder on my wish list on Amazon. But I dunno, last time I borrowed one to hang a picture, it didn't work." "Why not?" "It kept pointing to me."
Dad - "I have plenty of steam son, I can get you that for free."
Because there were 3 4 5.
Nobody ever gets it the first time I tell it. I have to repeat it every time. ;~;
Me: "I don't know why the owl socks haven't shipped yet. I ordered the cat socks three weeks ago from the same company, and they shipped in two days. If they don't get here by Christmas, I'll have to ship them down to [Sister's] house in Tennessee, after she's left."
Dad: "Oh, I'm sure she won't give a hoot."
Needed information: My family and I are pretty big Chicago Blackhawks fans. There is a player on the Blackhawks with the name Patrick Sharp.
Story:
For Christmas I got a bunch of Blackhawk themed shirts ranging from t-shirts to long sleeved t-shirts that look like actual jerseys themselves. I got a decent amount of them from my girlfriend's family, so my family didn't see them right away as I opened them at their house. When I got home, I was very excited show them to my family.
So when I grab the long sleeved t-shirt jersey to show to my mom and she says, "Wow that is Sharp!".
I respond back with a grin on my face with a quick "No, there isn't a name on the back of it at all."
It clicked after a few seconds, but I got a groan and a "You knew what I meant..."
Other day my dad is sitting on the couch, I asked him if I could get a candle for christmas. He then responded with "yeah I think I candool that for you"
.. It can't be returned and only comes with a one year warranty.
> Here is the list of who buys for whom in the gift exchange. > > The rules are: Spend $50, no gift cards. (If you think $50 is too much then make it two $25 gifts.) > > PS: If you want to spend more on me I would understand.
Her: They got us a really nice gift when I was pregnant so I want to get them something nice.
Me: What did they get you?
Her: It was a really cute 5-piece onesie set.
Me: You mean a five-sie?
She got tired of me giggling about it and left the room.
I moved across the country a while ago, so I called my parents to tell them about my Christmas holiday.
> Me: I got some nice kitchen things, including a talking meat thermometer!
> Dad: That's great son, but where are you going to find talking meat?
It's a gift you just can't beat!
A broken drum. You can't beat it!
