G. I. - G. I. Joe.
Tell them they are going to the prayground
Is he resisting arrest?
His father shouted, "Jim! You make a better Door than a window!"
Now if only I could figure out who the parents are...
I said IDK as well.
He makes hay while the son shines.
It really annoyed my sister.
"Allah bored"
But I keep getting the son in my eyes.
A tortoise that tells jokes.
I still have flashbacks.
Doctors diagnosed me with Clausetrophobia
It was rough.
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
"And you want to send me to a psychologist for sucking my thumb."
A truss fund baby.
I told her it was because Ken came in another box.
..She always had little patients.
Names.
...turns out that’s called identity theft and is illegal.
On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
"I've had it with your altitude"
Midlife crisis
.. and that child took all the attention growing up, Optimus Prime would become "trans(-)parent".
EDIT: I meant "had", not "got".
They make up everything.
I was proud.
"You're no son of mine"
Whine o' clock
They said the sky is the limit.
So he asked his father for water. The father replied, "Can't you see I'm busy, get it yourself". The child continued to ask his father for water. The father shouted, " If you don't keep quite, I'll come and whip your ass". The child said, " Please bring a cup of water on your way here".
The mid wife told me not to worry, they were only contractions
......having absolutely no idea whose child it is.
They forgot to use ray shields
Are they resisting a rest?
Only Juan.
Dad: Hi thankful, I’m dad.
It’s rather too conventional for me...
He was absolutely rubbish, he was only seven.
It's a kid-napper.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.
"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."
"Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."
"Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."
"Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."
"Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."
It's a slippery slope.
...turns out that’s called identity theft and is illegal.
