The Census Bureau...

...finally, a government agency that counts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blur410
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Literally just happened: Wife completing our 2020 census reading off list of ethnicities. β€œWait... what is... Chamorro?”

Me: β€œChamorro? It’s Chursday.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickfree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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A Viking explorer came home to find his name removed from the town register. When his wife complained, the chief apologized and said,

β€œI must have taken Lief off my census”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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Buddy's wife works for the Census Bureau. He calls her...

"...my statistically significant other."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cummy_ant_sock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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Signing the Census form

The latest Census form (In OZ) asks for a signature.

Me: It doesn't say who is to sign. Should it be the first person on the Census? The second person? Even your dog could sign it.

Dad: Well, that would be a poor signature!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinags
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2016
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National Census Day

At the GF's parents' place on the day, and we'd been drinking a bit beforehand.

All laying on the floor filling it out, when her dad pipes up with "THIS JUST ISN'T MAKING ANY CENSUS!"

edit: her

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πŸ‘€︎ u/donkeydicksrule
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SycamoreLover
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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How does Peter Parker keep track of the number of arachnids in any given neighborhood?

He uses his spider census.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashiellbalder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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Famous Viking explorer returns home..

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom_Swiftie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2012
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