Census Puns

A list of puns related to "Census"

The Census Bureau...

...finally, a government agency that counts!

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👤︎ u/blur410
📅︎ Nov 12 2020
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Literally just happened: Wife completing our 2020 census reading off list of ethnicities. “Wait... what is... Chamorro?”

Me: “Chamorro? It’s Chursday.”

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👤︎ u/nickfree
📅︎ Apr 16 2020
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Buddy's wife works for the Census Bureau. He calls her...

"...my statistically significant other."

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👤︎ u/cummy_ant_sock
📅︎ Nov 08 2018
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Signing the Census form

The latest Census form (In OZ) asks for a signature.

Me: It doesn't say who is to sign. Should it be the first person on the Census? The second person? Even your dog could sign it.

Dad: Well, that would be a poor signature!

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👤︎ u/vinags
📅︎ Aug 04 2016
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They should count all the people in this country that make $40k a year or less

Seems like common census

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👤︎ u/Irv-Elephant
📅︎ Feb 13 2021
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Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.

He uses his Spider Census.

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👤︎ u/MotherJoanFoggy
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
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A Viking explorer came home to find his name removed from the town register. When his wife complained, the chief apologized and said,

“I must have taken Lief off my census”.

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👤︎ u/CheeseheadDave
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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👤︎ u/SycamoreLover
📅︎ Apr 09 2018
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How does Peter Parker keep track of the number of arachnids in any given neighborhood?

He uses his spider census.

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👤︎ u/dashiellbalder
📅︎ Jul 02 2019
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Famous Viking explorer returns home..

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

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👤︎ u/Tom_Swiftie
📅︎ Mar 04 2012
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