I fell in love with my cardiac surgeon

He was pulling at my heart strings

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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bitch sent me into cardiac arrest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bayeek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Who is Cardiac

And why did he arrest my son?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shinolight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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Every operation a cardiac surgeon performs is heartfelt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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I never understood cardiac arrest, but after medical training

I can finally defibrelate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HakunaTraumata
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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Recently, my father passed away in the hospital. He had a cardiac problem, and we needed to perform a blood transfusion in order to save him. Unfortunately, none of us knew his blood type.

As he was dying, he kept telling us to "be positive," but it's incredibly hard to without him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImprovedBore
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What do you call a Mexican Mint worker who makes salsa on the side and has an implanted cardiac regulator?

A Pace Making Pace Makered Peso Maker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pfheonix
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Always carry around handcuff keys, it can get you out of cardiac arrest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Untiled_One
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I’m dating a cardiac surgeon.

She sure knows the way to my heart!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty085
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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A heart was taken into custody for murder yesterday. The locals are calling it a cardiac arrest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theeggroaster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2015
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Someone just arrested my friend’s dad, and he won’t wake up.

It was cardiac.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwon06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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What do you call a guy having a heart attack?

An ambulance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustAGuyInTampa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man's heart was through his stomach,

which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubadishnard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?

Cardiac arrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chtili
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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My mom is in the hospital

Thursday my mom was admitted into the hospital and Friday she was moved into the IVCU (Interventional Cardiac Unit). As I was leaving her for the night I said, "I'll V C-ing U tomorrow". She was too tired to acknowledge my pun, so I posted here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EC10-32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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What did the police arrest the hospital patient for?

He was under cardiac arrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yugeceo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I heard a heart wrenching story recently.

A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.

Edit: the lack of attention sure is disheartening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinuvian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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A man died from a heart attack when being taken to the police station

It was a cardiac arrest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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Cardi B was arrested yesterday

It was a cardiac arrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Antoniman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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Officer pulls over Mr. Heart: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Mr. Heart: I wasn't even moving! Officer: Exactly! You're under cardiac arrest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BonesofGold9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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My Dad just woke up from a quadruple heart bypass

My Dad just had a Cardiac Arterial Bypass Graft (Cabg for short). When we were allowed to see him on the ward his first words were 'do you know where we are?'

Worried he was still confused from the drugs we told him 'ITU Dad, you've just had surgery?'

'No,' he said, 'we're on a dual cabbage way.'

Thanks Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morovai
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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