Cant weigh to see their face
Why cant your nose be 12 inches long
Because then it would be a foot
You know why you cant fart in an Apple store ?
Because they dont have windows.
Why cant you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
I cant watch my clock anymore!
The tik toks are so annoying...
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.
I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog
I cant believe that locksmiths aren't working in some places
They are key workers after all
Why cant a T-rex clap with his hands?
Dogs cant operate MRI machines
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
You cant hear psychopaths urinating
My dad just cant articulate dad jokes
I hope his speech therapy works
Apparently you cant use "beefstew" as a password
I must not be strogonough
(strong enough)
I went to the doctors the other day because I cant stop showing off.
They prescribed me some anti gloating cream. I cant wait to rub it in.
He cant even tell his son.
I cant handle how sharp this is.
Why cant orphans play baseball?
They dont know where home is
You cant run in a campground
You can only ran, because its past tents.
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?
What do you call a fly that cant fly
I cant screenshot it so i sent a link
http://logs.omegle.com/7150b145bb2cd36f
I married a pen a few years ago
It's a mistake I cant erase
Alcohol is gay cuz when u are drunk you cant think straight
why cant you play poker in a jungle
White men cant jump but they can....
Why can't melons get married in secret?
I cant seem to make any hindenburg jokes...
...they all crash and burn
Why cant ghosts have kids
Because they have Hollow Weenies
Poor guy cant find any hoes
Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
You cant plant any flowers if you havent botany
John Cena: *wakes up in hospital* Where am I? Doctor:ICU John Cena: No you cant
My son got mad after I called his weed stupid
I said "Jeez cant you take a toke ?"
Why cant you hear a T-rex clap?
why cant you hear the pterodactyl pee
I cant believe how far virtual reality has come in my lifetime
cant believe they fired me from the clock factory... with all those extra hours I put in...
cant think of a pun title rn this will do
i cant make a pun using aerodynamics? hold my beer
Acounting for aerodynamics when designing a car is really a drag.
Anyone?
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, which promptly lays down on the floor. The barman says, “Oi mate, you cant leave that lying there!”
The man says, “It’s not a lion it’s a giraffe”
Why cant you steal a cat?
You end up cat-napping every time.
"Wisdom" Puns/Pick-up lines
so im talking to this girl and her name is wisdom. Im horrible at coming up with puns/pick up lines and Im trying to think of a funny one but I cant. help.
You can pick a guitar, but you cant Piccalilli.
Why cant a bike stand on its own?
Why are calculators so dependable?
Because you can always count on them
I cant stand perfume commercials
They don't make any scents
"My Dad's dying wish was to have his family around him, I cant help but think he'd of been better off with more oxygen.
I cant think of any good bed jokes.
I'll have to sleep on it.
Why cant a bear become a koala?
It doesnt have the proper Koalafications!
Why cant old pregnant women have a quick delivery?
They're past their Prime.
Why cant the dinosaur clap its hands?
Why cant we mint currency from antimony?! Why!? Why!?
I cant wait for new years eve 2020
Ill put on those novelty 2020 glasses and proudly say i have 2020 vision
When cant the cops arrest you for smoking weed?
not a dad but got all my comedic sensibilities from one
i work at a liquor store. i was stabbing the plastic top of a case of tall boys open with a boxcutter (with GUSTO & PANACHE) and one of my regulars came in , saw me, and asked
"jeez, what are you tryna do, kill em?" & i said without hesitation
"well you cant drink them while theyre still alive,"
What do you call a computer geek who cant satisfy his woman in bed?
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
Cant go outside because it is raining cats with no dogs
Why cant pirates finish the alphabet?
What do you call a melon that never got married?
Why did the melons have such an expensive wedding?
..because they cant-elope
Why cant you talk to pi?
Because it goes on forever
I cant find the blueprints to my house.
I think I have lost the plot.
He is right
Friend 1 : hey what are the effects of alziemer diesease
Friend 2 : sorry bro I cant remember
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.
Life before that is a blur.
Have you all heard about the monk who claimed to see the face of jesus in a tub of margarine?
He said “i cant believe its not Buddha”
I cant stand my wife
She is pretty tired and just wanna sit
What did the horse say when it fell down?
"Help, I've fallen, and I cant giddy up!"
Perfect when you cant find the bathroom
I dont wanna be a party pooper but where is the bathroom
Why cant bloods buy bitcoin?
Because it's crip-to currency
Why cant you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
Why cant a nose be longer than 11 inches?
Because if it was it would be a foot
Why Cant You Hear A Pterodactyl Go to The Bathroom
Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the washroom?
Because the "p" is silent
Why cant you have a 12 inch nose?
Because that would be a foot!
Why cant you play poker in the jungle ?
Apparently, you cant use 'beefstew' as a password.
Why cant a nose be 12 inches long
Beause then it would be a foot
Why cant dinosaurs clap, because their dead...
Why cant you hear a pterodactyl urinate?
Because the "P" is silent
Dogs cant operate an MRI scanner...
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