A list of puns related to "Canalize"
Waterway to get stuck
People must be stuck in it
I really missed the boat on that one
...and if I can’t sue Ez, can Al?
A ship-ton!
If I were that captain I'd be so ashamed I'd commit Suezside
whoops wrong sub
A rising Tide lifts all boats
It's called Bridge Over Troubled Water.
Unfortunately I ran out of toilet paper already so started using lettuce leaves. Today was the tip of the iceberg.
Someone turned on the light in the back seat and it distracted the driver.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
An evergreen
He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."
Waterway to go
There's bound to be a lock down there
‘Far Canal. I hate this place’.
They're in a die-er strait.
He has to get to the other side of the canal but can't seem to find a bridge. On the other side he sees someone walking his dog. How do I get to the opposite side? He shouts. You already are the man responds.
But it was all locked up.
Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.
"Damned if you do, dammed if you don't."
...but backwards, it’s even more stupid…
So it's been almost 3 weeks since a lockdown was triggered in the UK and there have been quite a few knock on effects.. Some good and some bad which I want to share in this post.
Firstly one of my friends lost his job. He worked as a psychic.. Never saw it coming. Its been a difficult couple of weeks and he is now considering a complete career change...considering becoming a baker of all things.. But I suppose he really kneads the dough. I suggested he focus on photography, but nothing ever developed.
Another of my friends was also made redundant. He managed to get a Skype interview for a position in Tescos within a few days. The interviewer asked him: "what is your biggest weakness?", he replied "I don't know when to quit". The interviewer said "OK, your hired". He said "I quit".
Work has been busy for me but since I can't enjoy the things I usually do I have been looking for some new things to do around the house. It's been nice have the thyme to do more cooking. I randomly started a boat building business in my garage.. Sails have gone through the roof.
In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years I am now shouting at my parents for leaving the house. I suggested they take up scrabble to keep them occupied.. Turned out to be a bad idea from the word go.
It's been great hearing about how world pollution levels have been failling. I read the story about fish now being visible in the canals in Venice.. I hope that story isnt a load of pollocks! Cod, these were eely bad. Will stop carping on now!
They always go back on their word.
It needed a root canal.
Panama Canal
The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I'm in the process of getting a show on the local public access channel started. It's going to be a weekly recording studio session that showcases local bands. Most of the paperwork is done, I just need a snappy title. The best I can come up with is "The Here Canal," but I think /r/puns can do better!
My wife and I were sitting by one of the canals in my city when a duck came flying towards us. I shouted "Duck" as it flew close over our heads and was really please with myself. My wife doesn't even smile so I ask if she didn't think it was funny. Her reply: "I guess it went over my head"
That ship has sailed
Or has that ship sailed?
Apparently he wanted to transcend dental medication.
he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Transcend dental medication.
Transcend dental medication
His goal: transcend dental medication
It needed a root canal.
It needed a root canal.
It needed a root canal.
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