A Stormtrooper.
They excel at con-etiquette.
Because it's con-etiquette
But Catscan!
Personally though, Iβm on the fence.
But now I'm OK.
One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.
He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.
He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.
"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.
"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."
"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"
"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.
"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"
"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".
"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"
"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"
"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.
"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.
He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.
"I'll have one holiday please!"
"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.
"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.
"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"
"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"
"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.
"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"
The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -
... keep reading on reddit β‘I'm the last comment π
https://i.imgur.com/ctCH77E.jpg
I bet it is doing a CT scan
This seriously just happened to my sister. Background: I live in CT, and we just got a big snowstorm.
Dad: We got more snow than Buffalo this year. Sister: Wow... Really? Dad: Yep. So far we got about 18 inches of snow and not a single buffalo.
My dad, ladies and gents.
https://i.imgur.com/7GJQhCT.png
Dadjoked the wife with this one:
http://imgur.com/ctLkauq
Dad: "I had to CT a guy at work today. Poor guy had been hit in the head with a pillow."
Me: "Wha... a pillow?! How hard was it?"
Dad: "Pretty hard. They were worried he might have con-cushion..."
I texted my dad to let him know I landed, My flight was scheduled to take an hour and a half, but it only took an hour. I was flying from Hartford CT into DC.
Me: I landed.
Dad: That was quick!
Me: Yeah, only took an hour!
Dad: Well yeah, you were flying down hill
Me: -__-
