McDonalds is working with Apple to create a huge gaming computer

They're calling it the Big Mac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who spilled Parmesan all over his Apple computer?

Now he just has Mac and cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassMusicIsLife
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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Steve jobs named an apple computer - Lisa; the same name as his daughter. Do you know what Lisa stood for?

The National Anthem

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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The first computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple that barely had any memory. One byte, and everything crashed.

It probably ran on Python

Credit: u/FriendofHolySpirit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubic-Zirconia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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Mark Morrison bought an Apple computer from me but he brought it back as it was faulty

Return of the mac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Did you hear about the Apple computer that never went to sleep?

It was an insomniMac!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moar_CheezIts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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McDonald's uses only large, Apple computers for everything.

In fact, they are famous for their big MACs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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If the Raspberry Pi foundation teamed up with Apple

they could create a micro computer called Apple Pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theemptyqueue
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What computer can sing "Hello"

A dell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jendood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
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My girlfriends's dadjoke on computer specs completely blindsided us last night.

"I wonder if quad core or duo core matters much..."

"Well, Apple's have a single core, and they run fine."

*Cue groaning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cofenn
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2015
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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The best dad jokes are the ones you laugh at more than the audience...

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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With some of my buddies (some of which are new fathers)

Friend 1&2: Talking about computers and virus software and it was brought up how you don't really need extra virus protection if you buy an apple computer. Friend 3: Didn't apple have a big virus recently? Without missing a beat someone responds was it a worm?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jay_el_ess
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2016
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Just dadjoked my customer at work

"Your computer broke? Guess you got a rotten Apple."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justgentile
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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Java

My business professor has a dad like sense of humor and he was talking about thing's that pop up on your computer and ask for updates and he goes:

"What's that one that always pops up...Java...Applet? What the hell is an Applet anyway? Is it just a small apple?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_dirty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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Who owned Apple’s worst computer?

Adam and Eve They just had one byte and then everything crashed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abc0rum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple.

It had extremely limited memory. Just one byte. Then everything crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krystx57
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

And then everything crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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Did you know the worlds oldet computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve?

The computer was branded by apple, but it had very limited memory. It only had 1 byte and then everything crashed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Found this joke online xD

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything CRASHED.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueMeteor134
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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