I heard this i while back don’t remember where its from, sorry if it seems butchered(longish)
One day a loving husband and father of 2 sons comes home, one of the sons asks him to come upstairs, so he comes upstairs and his son says“dad, im gay” the father, surprised says “well, okay, i still support you son”.
The next day the father comes home to his other son asking him to come upstairs, he goes and the son also comes out as gay, the loving father says “both you and your brother, i wont have any kids, but, i still support you”........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ........
The father then walks down stairs to go and play with the family dog(male) and finds him in the backyard humping the neighbors(also male) dog. The father walks back into the house and exclaims
“Does anyone in this house like women”.
His wife taps him on the sholder
My dinner tonight consisted of the internal organs and entrails of a butchered animal.
I am a butcher by trade & yesterday I accidently backed into the meat grinder
I got a little behind in my work
Did you hear about the wise butcher?
Butcher of "Baa"viken: Killer of over hundred innocent sheep.
How does a butcher introduce his wife?
The butchers wife always messes up everyone's orders.
What did the butcher say as his arch nemesis ran away?
I visited an online butcher shop today.
What do you call a butcher convention?
The butcher kept getting my order wrong. He gave me a porterhouse instead of a filet mignon!
He said it was a mis-steak.
Why do butchers have difficulty learning other languages?
Because they kept butchering the words
From my 8yr old: what do you say to a slow pig butcher?
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
My butcher is reducing his working hours
My butcher is going from five days a week to four days a week in order to ease himself into retirement. I don't think I can shop there anymore. It's just too odd having a butcher who can't do cold turkey.
I made a joke about a butcher’s knife but nobody laughed.
I was talking to a butcher the other day who showed me a 10 pound bratwurst
So I said "A ten pound bratwurst? I never sausage a thing!"
What does a 6'5" butcher weigh?
What are butchers always starting fights?
Went to my butchers for my dinner but he gave me the wrong order
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
My friend was hesitant about joining the butcher's beauty pageant.
May end up being a Miss Steak...
What I saw at the local butcher
I went to the butcher the other day but ended up fighting him
Cause he asked if i wanted some beef
Hear about the gang of midgets that tried to rob a butchers shop
They went away empty handed, the steaks were to high.
I often worry about German sausages
Basically I fear the wurst.
Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)
What do you call a butcher with a vested interest in his store?
What did the Canadian say when he entered the Mexican Butcher store?
What do you call a butchers conference
"Son, what're you drinking" "Soy milk"
"Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"
So I walked into the butcher..
And i noticed a giant T-Bone hanging from the ceiling.
I asked the butcher - Hey, whats this for?
Oh, replied the butcher Thats a compitition we have going. Choose what meat you want to buy and put it on the counter. You can then choose to jump and pull the t-bone down. If you do it in one shot, you get your meat free, otherwise you pay 50% more. Want to have a shot?
Nah I replied Steaks are too high
I’m opening a butchers shop above a hotel.
It’s a cut above the rest.
The butcher backed up into his meat grinder
And as a result, he got a little behind in his work.
How dit the butcher introduce his wife?
How did the butcher introduce his wife?
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
I knew this butcher who accidentally backed into his meat grinder
He got a little behind in his work
How did the butcher introduce his girlfriend?
What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
A butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work
Did you hear about the butcher that backed up into the meat grinder?
he got a little behind in his work.
How does a butcher introduce his wife?
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.
He told me the steaks were too high.
I bet a butcher that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf
He refused, because the steaks were too high.
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