No one, he’s an elf made man
The difference is day and night.
That's snot good.
https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80
Goddamnit !!! She never told me she sold flowers !!!
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
It's saying "Hey buds."
And suddenly I’m the idiot....
Thistle have to do.
Business must really be blooming.
Brocc Lee never bloomed like Bruce.
It was a 'once in Bloom moon' experience.
...my mind raced with punchlines of the “about this far” variety. I tried a few on for size.
Then I realized he was looking distraught and realized I was potentially stomping on his blooming dad-joke career. So I stopped and said: “I don’t know son, how far?”
He still looked confused, and then I realized that he for real thought a “stud” was a measure of distance and this was a legit question. So I had to transition into google searching images of wall framing and what studs are. What a roller coaster of dad emotions.
Reddit, I need your collective minds to create puns based on a certain word, which is below. The pun that Reddit and I both enjoy most will be broadcasted for the world to see. Have fun!
WORD: Flour
Once, there was a young woman who wanted to do a little psychological experiment. So she carefully bred cherry trees to bloom in multiple colors, and arranged to have them planted such that the trees of one color would spell out the name of some other color. You know, to test the Stroop effect.
However, the instructions (which were, admittedly, odd) weren't transmitted to the workers (all starving underpaid grad students) effectively, so the groups of various colored cherry trees were planted such that the colors matched the names, completely invalidating her experiment.
She's now the Stroop drupe group blooper girl, Stroop drupe blooper girl, Stroop drupe blooper girl...
She now focuses on Anglo-Saxon royalty.
While driving around Florida looking for go cart racing.
Me: Hey there's a dollar tree FIL: Any money blooming?
Sister: Sometimes I make jokes that only you would appreciate to the full extent
Me: Same.
Sister: This car came pulling out of a place real fast before stopping and the guys driving kind of looked like POTC Orlando Bloom. So naturally he [her boyfriend] said "Woah, Orlando bloom" and I said "Yeah you better calm down before you Orlando yourself in a bad spot"
Dad: hmmmm, I'm stuck on a clue
Me: bet I can help
Dad: ok, 4 across, the clue is overladen postman
Me: how many letters?
Dad: a blooming sack full
I said, "Why is that a pirate tree?" She said, "Because of all de-blooms."
"I've heard love really blooms there."
My client was showing off her budding fringe tree and said "The blooms come out and then the tree leaves" I said "Where does it go?"
I was talking to my dad just now about the legend of St George. He said, jokingly, that the knight did slay a dragon and I retorted with.
"Yeah, and allegedly a rose bloomed out of its blood,"
His reply? "Yup, allegendly,"
To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
