My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday
Thatβs ridiculous, I didnβt even know it was her birthday
π︎ 167
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
Never blame anyone else for the road you're on...
...that's your own asphalt!
π︎ 110
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
Phil is to blame for this one, nothing to do with me.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...
But it was his own dumb asphalt...
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
Donβt blame others for the road that youβre on
Thatβs your own asphalt
π︎ 28
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Who do teachers blame when dealing with bad apples?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road
π︎ 308
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.
I donβt understand, itβs his own stupid asphalt.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
What is a crow's favorite drink?
Cawffe
My bf told me this don't blame me.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual
It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
I heard people are blaming imaginary evil spirits for Micheal Jackson's death.
Guess they're blaming it on the boogie.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
A bunch of books fell on me yesterday, but I couldnβt find anyone at fault in the accident.
I only have my shelf to blame.
π︎ 123
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
Why does Eve get the blame for eating the apple?
After all, it was Adam's apple!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
My dad didnβt love me as a child, but I donβt really blame him.
I wasnβt born until he was an adult.
π︎ 75
π
︎ May 08 2020
September, October, November, and December should have been the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th month.
Whoever screwed this upβ- I hope he got stabbed.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
A bad workman blames his fools...
EDIT: tools
...stupid keyboard...
π︎ 665
π
︎ Jul 16 2019
I was shocked to see the Memorial Day pool party videos from the south, but I can't really say I blame them...
Because Missouri loves company.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 26 2020
I farted and blamed it on the dog.
It was a lie of emission.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
You know what? I think I can.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
I tried to build a shelf to hold all my favorite Brie Larson movies
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
All countries got Coronavirus...
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
I recently read an article about how a woman was killed by a falling bookcase.
Morticians say that she only had her shelf to blame.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
A book just fell on my head
I only have my shelf to blame.
π︎ 122
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Thereβs only one thing to blame for the cause of earthquakes.
Itβs always the Earthβs fault.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
GF has been blaming me for us losing all our stuff in an Earthquake..
even though I told her it wasn't my fault
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf
π︎ 53
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
When a construction worker farts dont blame him it's his asphalt
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
π︎ 129
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Donβt blame others for the road youβre on...
Thatβs your own asphalt
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Donβt blame others for the road youβre on.
Thatβs your own asphalt.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
π︎ 80
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
if you crash your car in your driveway who do you blame?
You can't blame anyone else that's your own asphalt!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
You canβt blame anyone for the road youβre on.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
Never blame someone else for the road you are on
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on in life.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Dont blame other for the road you're on.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
My neighbor blamed my gravel for his fall
But it was his dumb asphalt
π︎ 37
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
My dad didnβt love me as a child, but I donβt really blame him.
I wasnβt born until he was an adult.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jun 11 2018
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fallβ¦
But it was his dumb asphaltβ¦
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Aug 20 2017
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall.
But it was his dumb asphalt
π︎ 184
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fallβ¦
But it was his dumb asphaltβ¦
π︎ 555
π
︎ Jun 03 2018
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