Bird Seed Puns

But I think it's cheep cheep cheep

No birds are growing.

It's true! When was the last time you ate a bird?

I wonder what kind of birds they will grow into.

Not a single bird grew after I planted it.

They found it

Im-peck-able

Wonder how long they will take to grow?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

One says to the other “Lets go eat our fill in seeds and worms.” They swoop down and do so.

Once all fat and happy they find a spot under a tree with the perfect amount of sun, and bask in the sunlight.

An alley cat rolls in and seeing the two birds. Thinking about how he hasn’t eaten in days, and sees two fat birds in front of him, he creeps up, and gobbles them in one fell swoop.

In the aftermath, he takes their spot in the sun, and as he’s laying down to nap he says “Man... I sure do love Baskin Robins.”

Backstory: A small group of squirrels has been stealing our bird seed. We've tried a variety of methods to get them to stop, and my wife said "we need a bb gun." I had one when I was 12! "I bet my parents still have it," I said.

Me: Do you still have my old BB gun? Or a BB gun? or a pellet gun?

Mom: No, what r u doing?

Me: Killing squirrels.

Dad: Nuts, I wish I could help.

.....I cannot be upset because one day I will do this to my own children, like my father before me.

"what does a little bird inside a Computer do?"

"microchip"

"that is a hat, keep that in your head"

"what do they tell you when you live a seed bank?"

"thank you for coming"

"I never wanted to be a trucker, it never in-tir-ested me"

"Do you know why watches leave a mark on you wrist?"

"becouse the time is tight"

"life is like Battleship, today you ate, tomorrow C6"

Really, each joke is from a different classmate.

At the in laws helping them set up a new tent. Father in law starts spreading bird seed and mother in law says "Do we need more bird seed soon?"

Father in law: "nah, we don't want too many birds growing"

Groan