My grandma took up jogging 5 miles a day at the ripe old age of 65.

She's 92 now and nobody knows where she is!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berkleysquare
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2023
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Why do you only get one egg with a French breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2022
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Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar . . .

Picture it. June, 1971. London.

Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.

Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil this evening.

Enter King Crimson, their bitter rivals in experimental jazz-fusion symphonic rock.

A chill hits the air, but they manage some level of civility.

Fripp even manages to put aside his seething anger at Lake for defecting to Emerson's new project and stands a round for all.

It's unclear exactly when Hawkwind arrives, but the strained emotions soon give way to genuine cheer and good will.

Lemmy, their basist at the time, could have that effect on people.

Unfortunately, he also later looks directly at Lake, points at Fripp and company and asks, "Waren't you wiv his lot?"

The police report explains that the ensuing fracas lasted for about 30 minutes at caused at least Β£4,500 (Β£56,604.93 in 2021, or $78,480.75) in damages, several broken bones and uncounted stiches.

The scrum finally calms down after Peter Gabriel, who was [throwing darts](https://darthelp.com/articles/the-history-of-darts/#:~:text=M

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevRob330
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
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International House of Pancakes
πŸ‘︎ 173
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gargolito
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2016
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I went to the Service Station to get an Ice Cream with my two cousins and my mate...

Before I start; a golden gaytime is an ice cream that's pretty big in Australia.

So we went to the servo to get an ice cream. We were having a look when my cousin says "Hmm, I think I might have a Gaytime", to which I replied "Well when you're done just buy an ice cream and meet us at home."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
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My dad swooped in for the killing blow today

My mom said she was making Indian food tonight, including naan. I asked if she had all the "naan-essentials." She made an angry noise. "Sorry," I said, "was that a naan-sequitor?"

My dad happened to walk in just then. "Punish him!" my mom said to him.

"What? Why?"

"He keeps making puns!" My dad paused for a moment.

"Sounds like he's the one pun-ishing you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WasabiofIP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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Half a penny?

That doesn't make any cents!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WittyEnough
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2011
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Feminism

When Chuck Norris attends a feminist rally he comes back with his shirt ironed. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mogwair
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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