Did you hear about the crazy new beauty competition for scrotums?
Grandma at the beauty shop
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I had to pick up my grandma from the beauty shop this afternoon," he tells the bartender. "It was kind of cute. She was getting her grays touched up and nodded off right there in the hairdresser's chair. So I guess you could say she dyed peacefully in her sleep,"
My girl and I got attacked by a bear while camping, luckily her beauty scared it away. You can say she's pretty in-tents.
There's one character in Beauty and the Beast I feel really sad for.
Went to the beauty shop and saw a $5 wig…
I said “Man, that’s cheap!”
They said, “It’s a small price toupee.”
You know why a hammer goes to a beauty salon?
She goes there to paint her fingerNAILS
This beauty from a Chevron station in Seattle
The Catholic walked into a beauty shop and asked:
Beauty is the exception, not the rule. See for yourself.
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
Beauty lies in the eye of the bee-holder.
My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"
Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"
Her: "Its me."
Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"
Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"
My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!
Beauty School would actually be very easy to procrastinate in
Because it has make up exams.
My cat got 10/10 points at a beauty contest
Beauty and the Beast is a great story about a beast who is almost condemned to be stuck as a beast forever but gets...
I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants
The natural beauty of Mt Rushmore, before it was carved,
My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters
She's the new Miss Stake.
My wife asked me what I do for hours at a time at the beauty school library. I replied ...
What shows the beauties of the world, but when you look at it, it shows the horrors?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
I got an apiarist to judge my beauty pageant
Beauty is, after all, in the eye of the bee holder
My friend was hesitant about joining the butcher's beauty pageant.
May end up being a Miss Steak...
The beauty store told me their soap is 100% natural but I found out it wasn't
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Unlike the bee, which is in his hand.
I found this beauty on r/cursedimages
A "helen" could be used as a measurement of beauty, defined as a face that could launch a thousand ships. However, one should not use a "millihelen" to mean that a face could only launch one ship...
...because you shouldn't put metric prefixes on Troy units.
If The Beauty and the Beast took place in America, "Beauty" would have to be from the South
Because she's a Southern Belle
The true beauty of a pun
Rests in the “oy” of the beholder.
saw this simple beauty on the interstate
Disney came up with a Beauty & The Beast remake, but didn't include a princess.
The movie later earned a 'No Belle' prize
Had this beauty planted on me in the most unexpected of places. Grindr.
This beauty found on r/news
What award did Gaston of Beauty and The Beast won?
South African beauty pageant
The South Africa beauty pageant had 10 finalists: 9 black girls, and 1 white girl: Anna.
While Anna was beautiful in her own right, she paled in comparison to the other contestants.
I got in an argument with beauty supplies and now we're not friends anymore.
We just couldn't make up.
Before Mount Rushmore was carved, it’s natural beauty was...
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