I found a parasite in my Easter basket who tried telling me there was no God.
It was an egg ganache tick
What’s the difference between a female basket and a male basket?
I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.
I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
I Might Be a Basket Case
https://preview.redd.it/fh0pq3ubcfz41.jpg?width=2457&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0d484487bcd250efe235bbdf36da7e887afb9a
My wife had me put her wine in a basket
It turned out to be a fiasco
What items would you include in an amputation themed gift basket?
I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have:
-fruit by the foot
-Happy Feet
-Footloose
-an Ihop gift card
-pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1)
-Bologna (because his amputation is below knee)
-a card saying congrats on the weight loss
-all put inside of a stocking
What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?
As best man at my brother's wedding, I gave the couple a bread basket with a champagne flavored jam...
They seemed to enjoy my wedding toast.
What's in the picnic basket?
How do you get an elephant in a Safeway grocery basket?
Take the s away in safe and the f away in way.
He's a complete basket case
I almost fell down the stairs with a basket of laundry. I said “that was a close one”
My dad said “No, that was a clothes one.”
A couple sits down at a restaurant and the waiter brings them a basket of bread
The guy asks the waiter "Excuse me, is this gluten free?"
The waiter responds "Well it's complimentary as long as you order an entree"
How is an amateur singer like someone carrying a basket of eggs?
I could send you guys a bread basket
What did the basketball player say when his throw did not go into the basket?
What did the basketball player say when his shot did not go in?
'H'OOPS!
At a steakhouse for grandpa's 93rd birthday yesterday, the waiter brings a basket of rolls for the table
I asked if we could get some for the humans too.
My latest painting: A still life of apples in a basket in front of an unlit fireplace.
I'm calling it "Fruit by the Soot."
A sport that involves crying into a bunch of baskets.
Basket Bawl
(These puns will be the end of me JFC)
We all know Baby Moses was a basket case...
... and Pharaoh was in de Nile.
I tried to order a fruit basket for my friend, but he ended up receiving budoir pictures of his mom!
That's the last time i order from oedipal arrangements!
The pollen basket or corbicula is part of the tibia on the hind legs of certain species of bees. They use the structure in harvesting pollen and returning it to the nest or hive.
The bees think that this ability is just the bee's knees.
I accidentally called gift bags 'gift baskets'. My dad shot back with this one.
Dad: "You know what they call basket holders?"
Me: "...What?"
Dad: "Basket cases!"
This was followed by him laughing hysterically while I stared in disbelief. He asked my to share it on this subreddit when I told him about it.
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she’d just ironed.
It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.
I watched it all unfold.
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked if I could take two, he said no.
I said, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts, but when I asked if I could take two, he said no...
I pleaded, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
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