He got a home run
He's the pitcher.
Then it hit me
Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.
Al Kaline.
I said, βOi, whatβs your game?β
A Schwing and Amish
All they do is baulk
He leads the league in Arby eyes.
Cause no matter if they are right or left handed batters, they always hit close to home.
Naturally
India: crickets
Put me in coach.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname βthe machineβ for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him βHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?β
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. βWhat do you mean?β He said.
The reporter clarified βliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!β
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed βyeah, my greatest failure...β
βWhat do you mean?β Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh letβs out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
βIβve been aiming left this whole timeβ
Because itβs full of fans!!
So this is a true story, and maybe Iβll go to hell for telling it, but I expect Iβll meet the actual perpetrator there:
At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if Iβd seen the rabbit β the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasnβt a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.
Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldnβt have been me β Iβve never been one to split hares
But then it hit me!
My little girl shared that with me todayπ
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
Louisville Slugger
And then it dawned on me.
It's true, before he was the batman, Bruce was the bat boy!
Because he ate the bat
Now I have a lifetime ban from Disney world
They've been hitting everyone with their.bat
Because the Chinese would try to eat the bat.
Because it took out half the world with one bat
In Baseball, hit and runs are encouraged!
That took a lot of balls.
In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.
Because he did nazi it coming.
She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.
Wiggly Field!
Because they don't know where home is.
Because it's just a Bat, man!
Then it hit me.
Then it hit me.
Then it hit me.
