Classic restaurant banter tonight

My dad at dinner tonight.

Waiter 'any questions on the menu?'

Dad 'I don't see any questions on the menu...'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icithis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
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Walkie talkie banter

At work we use walkie talkies so I asked a guy if they can get something ready at 10:30. He said 10-4. And I said no it's 10:30.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dudephatal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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I just recently discovered this subreddit, so I'm sorry if it's a repost

http://m.imgur.com/qrjFGOs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PineappleTrees21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2015
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Classic dad at a restaurant

My dad is the king of dadjokes, especially in public. His specialty is bantering with waitresses. The other day we were finishing dinner at a restaurant, and dad still had quite a bit of food on his plate. The waitress came up and said, "Do you wanna box?" to which he replied, "No, but we could wrestle a few rounds." :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/threepea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
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Yes, I can!

Got my daughters with some quick thinking last night.

I was annoying my younger daughter with some fatherly banter when she complained, "Dad, can you NOT?"

To which I replied, "Yes, I can! I just take two bits of string and tie them together."

My bonus reward was the sound of my older daughter noisily expelling the big mouthful of drink she'd just had back into her cup, before laughing her head off.

My work here is done...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unfairrobot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
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Two mechanics were making small talk about what happens when an engine is running but the car is in park.

You know, just some idle banter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laymans_Terms19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Dublin Dad Joke takes the (biscuit) cake
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eoinh100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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A dad joke that's spread throughout my family...

Me: Banter towards dad

Dad: "Ha! You're funny!"

Me: Inner bliss as my father rarely lets me win

Dad: "...but looks aren't everything."

Me: "..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dankyre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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Heard this groaner at work tonight

Manager and coworker were bantering, and coworker says "yo, I thought we were cool!"

Manager said "like the other side of the pillow"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jenbenfoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
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I guess I took my wife's last name....

The wife got me after our usual after work banter.

Me: I believe you're mistaken.

Wife: Then you must be Mr. Taken.

facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carbonkid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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Got dadjoked at a restaurant today.

I ordered some ribs for pickup from a little place kind of in the middle of nowhere of the west suburbs of Chicago. When I called my order in I forgot that I needed to ask if they accept credit cards because I rarely carry cash. I got to the the place and I thought that they might only take cash so I asked the guy who looked like he was the owner if they took credit cards. He responded by saying that did and that they even give them back occasionally.

I told him he dadjoked me and we had some banter about what it feels like when you realize that you have become just like your own dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Walks500Miles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
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Thought I was immune to dad jokes for a while there, until my dad dropped this one this Easter.

Each member in our family split up the amount of eggs so that we'd get 6 to dye each, two dozen. At the end of the dying session, my sister looks over at my dad's 6 eggs and we see he's got one white egg left. My sister wants an extra egg if he's not going to use it and asks if she can dye the egg. He looks at her like she's lost her mind and said he dyed all of his eggs, there isn't one left. This banter goes on for about 5 or 6 minutes with all of us insisting he has a leftover egg to dye. Finally, he looks down and says "oh do you mean this one?" Pointing to the white egg. We all let out an exasperated "YES!" He turns to is all, with the big old dad smirk on his face and says, oh no that one's done, I put that one in the white dye. groans all around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ujelly_fish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
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Dadjoking Shorty (part 1)

A bit of backstory. I'm notorious among my circle of friends for telling "terrible puns/jokes" I think it's amazing, but I'd been rolling them out all day, patience for puns must've gotten shortened.

I'm talking with Shorty (named because she had short hair) and she was telling me about a book she had started.

Shorty "So the book's called 'Cutting for Stone' and it's like a doctor drama kinda thing, the only issue is that that it's super heavy on the medical terminology, so many bloody surgeries and procedures are listed, and I don't really know anything about that kids stuff. Like it's got an interesting plot but I don't know if I can't finish it, I'm not to sure I'm cut out for it"

At that last line I began laughing (her pun was unintentional) and compliment her on it "ha that was good. You're not 'cut out' for it"

Shorty "Oh god that was terrible just stop"

Me "You want me to 'cut' it out?"

Shorty "I'm going to kill you if you keep this up woman"

Me "You're gonna 'cut' me up?"

Shorty "Your jokes are terrible and it's proven that puns make people angry"

At this point I was just rolling in my chair laughing I really couldn't keep it together, possibly the best reply rolls through my head after this comment, I crack up, there I am choking out as tears come to my eyes. "Well it's a good thing it's not a PUNishable offense"

The girl next to me starts laughing as shorty yells at me how I can't just start crying at my own jokes.

TLDR; A witty banter of sharper than usual humor, as I walk a razor thin line of pissing off my friend and pissing myself with laughter.

I have many other stories so I titled this part one,if anybody likes my writing and jokes I'll share the rest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bingo4913
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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