Twitter might ban you if you post a COVID joke.

But there is a 95% chance you won’t get it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeiscool81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
NASCAR bans the confederate flag?

Finally a turn in the right direction.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattzlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I actually don’t understand why Donald Trump wants to ban TikTok

What’s Kesha done to deserve this?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Ban Anna's Movie
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My local council has managed to legislate a ban on all headgear

Hats off to them for getting that passed

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolface2k
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..

.. Dying to Czech it out

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Tho my son was going to start a petition to ban them, he slept on his specially built bed...

It was a boycot.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother tried to ban temperature-based puns...

but I still think they're cool.

They're a hot topic in our house.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superstars111
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did they ban the letters A-Y?

The were not Zs.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:

'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnexampledSalt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Man claims unfair lifetime ban from curry house for calling Chicken Tika Masala shit...

The chef said it’s Korma.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WasntSureAtFirst
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard the European Parliament wanted to ban all plastic items

I'm afraid they're grasping at straws.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoS42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the government ban swimming?

To cut down on poolution

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why smokers are not shouting on roads protesting against the vape ban?

They don't have enough lung capacity

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danyk16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Bans on Plastic Straws is Leading to Some New Techniques
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gcarsk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Can you believe Trump wants to ban shakers of parmesan from supermarket shelves, only allowing it to be sold in wedge form?

He says he wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopsicleMud
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
🚨︎ report
[Meta] can we make it a rule that any comment from pun patrol will result in an insta ban from this subreddit?

It is incredibly lame to see the same comment in each and every thread. Like I don’t understand what fun do they get.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Ban Fire (It's pronounced Bawn)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSmartypants12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the latest thing Donald Trump is trying to do? He’s planning to ban shredded cheese.

He just wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Impulse-impulse
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada recently passed legislation that will ban keeping or breeding whales and dolphins in captivity

Guess you can say marineland has lost its porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Afraidcoast229
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
President Trump has announced a ban on all shredded cheese in the United States.

In doing so he promises to Make America Grate Again.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
President Trump intends to ban the use of shredded cheese.
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tickytickytango
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My friends wanted to ban me from the group chat for this.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pennyroyal51
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Ban Shampoo

Insist on REAL poo!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1st10Amendments
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
They're passing a law that bans all pastry chefs from voting

Apparently bakers can't be choosers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weggo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.

The freedom of press is no more.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Umm... China bans wordplay in attempt at pun control theguardian.com/world/201…
πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stainlessteal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
🚨︎ report
They had to ban King Kong from Eastern Europe

He bounced too many Czechs.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AkumaXshoguN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Two livestock farmers were sat in the pub arguing over the government’s upcoming ban on exporting live animals...

The beef cattle farmer thought it was a silly policy and would greatly reduce his income from selling meat overseas....

The pig farmer disagreed, he thought it was a great opportunity for livestock farmers to benefit from higher profit margins in a strong domestic market with fewer overheads.

Feeling very passionate after a few beers, the beef farmer says to the pig farmer:

β€œThis time in 12 months, the government will have repealed this policy because it’s such a terrible idea... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and they don’t repeal it, I’ll give you my prized cow, Daisy. But if I’m right, and they do repeal it, you have to give me free bacon for a year”.

The pig farmer is confident that the policy will be a success and won’t be repealed. So he says β€œdeal”.

The beef farmer carries on:

β€œActually, I think this policy is going to be such a terrible failure that I’ll need to sell half of my cows to stay afloat... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and this policy doesn’t mean I need to sell half my cows, I’ll give you free steaks for a year. But if I’m right, and I do need to sell half my cows, you have to give me your prized boar, pumba”.

The pig farmer is confident that the beef farmer won’t need to sell any cows. So he says β€œdeal”.

12 months pass following the introduction of the live export ban. The government hasn’t repealed the policy, but unfortunately the beef farmer has had to sell most of his cows.

Both farmers reconvene at the pub. The beef farmer says to the pig farmer:

β€œWell, it seems you were right about one thing but wrong about the other...

So... You may have won the cattle, but you’ve lost the boar!”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad recently convinced my school to ban scissors.

I wont be cutting class anytime soon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Ban ana

Banana split.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notmyuzrname
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
🚨︎ report
A Reddit user bans all Czechs from his party

Username checks out

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremefriction
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
There is a brush burning ban in my area. Wild fires.

Does this mean I can still burn combs and hair picks?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Ban pre-shredded cheese!

Make America Grate Again!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yipyopyupyap
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Donald trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America Grate Again.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese

And make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pedro_CB
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonions
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Ban pre shredded cheese.

Make America grate again!

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuasiRuneScape
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Ban pre-shredded cheese

Make America grate again!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_AmazingAmanda_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
As its so crap, ban shredded cheese!

Make it grate again!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/air28uk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
We need to ban pre-shredded cheese

And Make America Grate Again

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphaw0lf212
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump has proposed a ban on pre-shredded cheese.

He said he wants to Make America Grate Again.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Del215
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Trump to Impose a Ban on All Imports of Pre Shredded Cheese

He wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotic_Narwhal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Ban pre-shredded cheese!!!

We need to make America grate again!!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
🚨︎ report

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