He was a methhead actor.
I'll tell ya that guy was methed up
Maybe i should not do that adderall.
While talking to a cop about bad excuse for having drugs, the cop told me he chased one guy though the woods and found needles on him. He asked the guy where they came from and the guy said "they must have got in his pocket in the woods." The cop said to me "like they fell out of the trees and into his pocket" and I immediately asked if they were pine needles. I giggled. He rolled his eyes
Significant other recently dumped me to heal some personal life issues alone. Call the family and explain the situation, tell them that bf was sadly a recovering drug addict.
Go home to enjoy a mom daughter weekend. Bad dad joke ensues.
Dad calls: What are you and your mom up to today? Me: We just finished a manicure pedicure session. Dad: I thought you just got rid of one of those? Me: ...what?.. Dad: A man-to-cure. Me: .....Face palm. Okay dad... That was pretty good.
- Anytime anything rattles he says "that sounds like 2 skeletons making love in a biscuit tin."
- Any beeping, anywhere, ever, he grabs his chest and says "is that my pacemaker?"
- And the most awkward (he regularly says this) "I believe in sex, drugs and rock and roll... well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad." Then he sneers. Smugly. Every. Time.
