Zac Apron
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cemeteryhipster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Puns for a food admirer

I want to design a custom apron for someone who likes admiring food for how it looks more than how it tastes. So far, I've thought of the following:

  1. in-food-uator (like 'infatuator' / infatuation)
  2. food-mirin (this seems kinda low effort lol).

Any more ideas? TIA!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skpgreen25
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What does the Pillsbury Doughboy keep under his apron?

Doughnuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_hate_p_values
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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I was in a KFC in Prague, standing in line waiting to order my lunch when I noticed the beautiful girl wearing a black and white tiled apron who was giving the man in front of me a bucket of Buffalo wings..and then it dawned on me.

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buggaboobooy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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What’s under the dough boys apron?

Donuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshhPeaches
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Hey, you dressed in the apron, here's some dough.

You look like you knead it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakBye
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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What do you need to be good at cooking prawns?

You need apron

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satanic_Smaug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Not actually a dad...

But I think I've got potential. I'm a waiter. It was raining when I left for work earlier, so I put my apron on my head to shield myself. I thought of what I might say if anyone questioned me about it.

"I sometimes like to wear improvised nun hoods. It's not a very good habit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scipio33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
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Went to ihop with my dad

..and all the servers are dressed in little pieces of their Halloween costumes (kitty ears, face paint). But one employee was wearing the Blue IHOP apron and the blue and white striped shirt. [dad] nudges my sister with his elbow, "look, he's dressed as an IHOP employee".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicodegallo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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Got my mom with a classic dad joke today

We were getting ready to cook some food for the family gathering we had today, and my mom pulls my dads camouflage apron out of a box. It had some writing on it but it was hard to read because of the color. She says to me, "I can't even see this." In which I reply, "WELL IT IS CAMOFLAGE!"

And that was the groan heard round the world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murdercrase
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2014
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Dear daughter: Rules for usage of your prom dress I just spent an hour ironing

This was my contribution to my daughter's prom tonight.

Posted it to FB and gave my daughter some advice:

[daughter],

Today I learned that ironing is good meditation. While getting your dress ready, I came up with some rules:

Rule 1: Do not sit down in this dress, even (especially!) in a car. Sitting down will cause wrinkles, especially in the buttocks area. Long, 3-mile hikes to the high school can be very romantic.

Rule 2: Do not eat or drink in this dress. For fluids, since your arms will be bare, might I suggest an IV. For solids, have your manservant (aka "date") feed you with a long spoon while you wear one of those full-body aprons like at the barbershop.

Rule 3: Do not dance in this dress. Dancing--especially "touching" dancing--can cause wrinkles. If you really must experience physical contact during the slow dances, your date may grasp non-dress parts of you, such as your forearms or head.

Have fun at your first prom!

Love, Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akambe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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Hey Dad, Whats For Dinner?

Son: Dad, what's for dinner?
Me: fires up the grill
Me: It's a mistake!
Son: Why a mistake?
Me: Because she's married Mr. Steak!
Me: Ties Dad of the Year Apron and proceeds to grill some steaks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vennythekid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Got Dadjoked while working at Home Depot

I was helping a couple with patio furniture and I told them to make sure to ask the cashier for the 50% discount on all patio furniture:

Me: If they give you any trouble, tell them to call Garden.

Customer: (Looks at my apron and points.) I thought your name is Chris!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MedStudent14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2014
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I just couldn't let this joke go by

I found a apron at the store that had tomatoes in a mason jar and said " I can, because I can." So I took a picture and sent it to a friend.

  • Me: (sent picture) I wanted to get this for you
  • Her: Why would you get that for me? I don't can.
  • Me: But don't you see? You can can!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinetreewhisperer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
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