Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....
...
...
"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.
I’m afraid I may have Appendixitis.
Why did someone remove the appendix?
I rewrote it and now my book is complete.
Because it was all booked up.
But how are you meant to find yourself within if you don't have one?
But somebody ripped out the appendix.
I always include a dad joke on the schedule for my employees (which this sub helps out with when I can't think of one, thank you). Next Friday is my last day, and this is the last schedule I'm sending to them. We work in a bookstore, and my final, cringe inducing joke to them is:
After careful consideration, I've decided to leave my job at the bookstore. It's time to turn the page to a new chapter in my life
Pretty bad even by my standards, but it felt right.
Her mom and I were in the examination room when the doctor had her get out of her pants and change into a gown and examined her lower area and said. "Wow you've got a perfect vagina" I couldn't help but say... "Well it's definitely not in her jeans" Her and her mom both looked at me in amazement. Totally worth it.
When I was young I told my dad, “When I grow up I want to be a musician.” My dad looked at me sternly and said, “You know, son, you can’t do both.”
Looking at the huge tree in our front yard, my dad advised me, “Don’t trust that tree. It’s shady.”
We were in the library together and my dad checked out a huge book on accounting. I asked why he was bothering to get that book. “I need to take this book to my doctor. It has a bloated appendix.”
My dad once told me, “I do yoga daily with your mother.” Then he added, “By ‘do yoga’ I mean I put my foot in my mouth.”
My dad was always telling me to exercise. He said I need to walk two miles a day. After a month of doing that, I called him, “Okay, now I’m in Seattle. What do I do now?”
My dad loved Clint Eastwood. I heard that Clint just opened a preschool: “Go Ahead Make My Day Care.”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
My son is learning about body parts:
Son: Dada you have a mouth
Me: Yes, son
Son: and Mama you have mouth?
Wife: Yes
Son: and this book have a mouth?
Wife: No. But it does have a spine.
Once you reach the appendix, you’re done.
Credit to my Dad.
Edit: he corrected me. It should say textbook
... Just had my Appendix removed.
The appendix was missing!
It got its appendix removed.
The appendix was removed.
All the interesting stuff was in the appendix.
They removed my appendix
"I know! I had my appendix removed!"
Because he had his appendix removed.
Him: "I've had appendicitis." Me: "so, you don't have an appendix?" Him: "nope!" Me:"... Well do you still have an epilogue." Him: (blank stare)
I laughed so her I had to leave the room.
His appendix burst.
DM'ING a D & D session. Player 1: Talking about one of the books There's no appendix in this book? Player 2: No, the appendix was removed.
Wife: could it be my appendix? Me: no, it's on the other side. W: maybe it's just my ovary. M: you also may be ovary-acting. W: flips me the bird
"When you get your appendix taken out what is it called?"
"Appendectomy"
"When you get your tonsils taken out what is it called?"
"Tonsillectomy"
"When a woman gets a sex change what's it called?"
"What?"
"Addadicktome"
Me: so for my project my teacher says I need to have an appendix. Dad: ouch your appendix! Sounds painful. Here have mine. pretends to rip appendix out and hold it out to me I'm not using it anyway.
Telling a story...
Me: Yeah, and my sixth grade science teacher had no is which side the appendix was on!
Dad: Isn't the appendix in the back?
Me: What, no, of course it isn-
Dad: Yeah it is, in the back, right before the index.
Was looking for a certain structure in an anatomy book with a lab mate and couldn't find it:
Me: "Let's try looking in the appendix"
Her: "I don't think this book has an appendix"
Me: "How can an anatomy book not have an appendix?"
I thought it was hysterical. She either didn't get it or disagreed.
Sorry for any formatting issues - on mobile.
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.
