I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.

He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"

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👤︎ u/kgangadhar
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why did the yogi refuse anesthetic to have his tooth extracted?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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📅︎ Mar 31 2020
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I asked my doctor if I could administer my own anesthetic...

He replied: "Go ahead! Knock yourself out."

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📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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Had some dental work done today. Dentist gave me the anesthetic and asked how my mouth felt.

"Just swell!"

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📅︎ Oct 09 2019
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Did you hear about the guru at the dentist who refused anesthetic?

He was trying to transcend dental medication.

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📅︎ Sep 27 2019
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My dentist is recommending I have my canines shaved down

But I just don't see the point

👍︎ 12
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📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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I dad jokes my dentist while she was actively working on me.

Scene- Me, at dentist, having teeth removed. She was having a bit of trouble with some of them and this was while she had instruments in my mouth. There's some pain after maximum amount of anesthetic she can give me. Asks me how I'm doing.

Me- There is some pain in the teeth after numbing but it isn't anything I can handle.

Dentist- Last time you were here we didn't have a problem but this time your teeth are being a major pain in the butt.

Me- My teeth are a pain in the butt? No wonder people say I talk out of my ass way too much.

She had to stop for a bit to finish laughing.

👍︎ 33
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📅︎ Jul 17 2020
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What do you say to a girl with a broken nose?

I broke my nose in a really stupid horse-related accident in Montana.

Dad takes me to the local walk-in clinic. It's mostly empty, as it's around 7pm. As we're giving the insurance information and whatnot to the receptionist, Dad is busy doing that thing where he's texting without his cheaters so he's having to squint and hold the phone away and he's really not paying attention to some question the receptionist is asking...

So I whack him on the arm (with a towel held to my face) and say "Dad, pay attention."

Unblinking, he turns in my direction, without even looking directly at me, he mutters "Shut up, or I'll hit you again."

The receptionist was not pleased. He told the same joke to the doctor who stitched me up, and he laughed his ass off.

Actually, dad cracked so many jokes that the doctor kept having to pause while stitching up my nose. He took so long that the anesthetic wore off and I could definitely feel the last few stitches.

Dr: "Now sir, the stitches are going to cause your daughter's nose to swell quite a bit." Dad: "EVEN BIGGER!? That's amazing!"

Me: "Shut up Dad". Dad: (pinching his nose, speaking nasally) "Shut up Dad".

Unamused 18 year old daughter.

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📅︎ Sep 20 2013
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After surgery, I made these two little gems in the recovery room
  1. I asked my blood type ( genuinely didn't know it). When they said A Positive, I mused, "that must explain why I'm such a positive guy.” ( got a pretty good chuckle from those in the room)

  2. They realized I didn't need oxygen and hauled the tank out of the room. I uttered, "tanks for nothing!" (got a bigger chuckle)

Not the greatest puns ever, but not bad for just coming out of general anesthetic :)

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📅︎ Mar 25 2018
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My son had an ingrown toenail treated.

The doctor's office was associated with the local medical college, so there were a couple of med students watching the senior doctor work on my son's toe. He loaded up a syringe with anesthetic and injected in multiple places, explaining that he was doing this to achieve digital blocking (that is, numbing the entire digit, namely the toe).

After it was done they left the nurse to bandage my son up, and he said, "Dad? What did he mean by digital blocking?"

"Well, when you weren't looking he hooked your toe up to a USB port and downloaded some MP3s into it. If you hold your foot close to your ear you can hear "Laaaaa, aaaaa aa aaaaah, close to you.""

The nurse stared at me and turned to my son. "Is he always like this?"

He silently nodded, looking at the floor...

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👤︎ u/oldforger
📅︎ Jul 20 2015
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Got my brother

My brother went in to discuss getting his wisdom teeth removed with his dentist. He was talking about the meeting with my parents and he got to the point about where he talked about anesthetic. He said that he was just going to have them numb the area around his teeth. Then my parents were saying that they are surprised he wasn't going under. This is where i struck, saying that "it would be foolish to go to Australia to get his teeth pulled".

Groaning ensued

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📅︎ Jul 25 2015
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Why did the surgeon put on vaporwave during a surgery?

Cause he thought the patient needed more of anesthetic.

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📅︎ May 26 2016
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I work at a veterinary clinic, and we had to give a cat an enema

As the tech was anesthetizing the cat, the vet said, "Let's get this potty started!"

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👤︎ u/Tiranon
📅︎ Aug 13 2015
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