Acinetobacter baumannii Acinetobacter infections Actinomyces israelii, Actinomyces gerencseriae and Propionibacterium propionicus Actinomycosis Trypanosoma brucei African sleeping sickness (African trypanosomiasis) HIV (Human immunodeficiency virus) AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) Entamoeba histolytica Amoebiasis Anaplasma species Anaplasmosis Angiostrongylus Angiostrongyliasis Anisakis Anisakiasis Bacillus anthracis Anthrax Arcanobacterium haemolyticum Arcanobacterium haemolyticum infection Junin virus Argentine hemorrhagic fever Ascaris lumbricoides Ascariasis Aspergillus species Aspergillosis Astroviridae species Astrovirus infection Babesia species Babesiosis Bacillus cereus Bacillus cereus infection multiple bacteria Bacterial meningitis multiple bacteria Bacterial pneumonia List of bacterial vaginosis microbiota Bacterial vaginosis Bacteroides species Bacteroides infection Balantidium coli Balantidiasis Bartonella Bartonellosis Baylisascaris species Baylisascaris infection BK virus BK virus infection Piedraia hortae Black piedra Blastocystis species Blastocystosis Blastomyces dermatitidis Blastomycosis Machupo virus Bolivian hemorrhagic fever Clostridium botulinum; Note: Botulism is not an infection by Clostridium botulinum but caused by the intake of botulinum toxin. Botulism (and Infant botulism) Sabiá virus Brazilian hemorrhagic fever Brucella species Brucellosis Yersinia pestis Bubonic plague usually Burkholderia cepacia and other Burkholderia species Burkholderia infection Mycobacterium ulcerans Buruli ulcer Caliciviridae species Calicivirus infection (Norovirus and Sapovirus) Campylobacter species Campylobacteriosis usually Candida albicans and other Candida species Candidiasis (Moniliasis; Thrush) Intestinal disease by Capillaria philippinensis, hepatic disease by Capillaria hepatica and pulmonary disease by Capillaria aerophila Capillariasis Bartonella bacilliformis Carrion's disease Bartonella henselae Cat-scratch disease usually Group A Streptococcus and Staphylococcus Cellulitis Trypanosoma cruzi Chagas disease (American trypanosomiasis) Haemophilus ducreyi Chancroid Varicella zoster virus (VZV) Chickenpox Alphavirus Chikungunya Chlamydia trachomatis Chlamydia Chlamydophila pneumoniae Chlamydophila pneumoniae infection (Taiwan acute respiratory agent or TWAR) Vibrio cholerae Cholera usually Fonsecaea pedrosoi Chromoblastomycosis Batrachochytrium dendrabatidis Chytridiomycosis Clonorchis sinensis Clonorchiasis Clostridium diff
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Buenosdillas
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
A happy Uncle.....
